First Conservative - Political Humor and Obamatudes

Ignoring the Tea Parties – A Dangerous Arrogance

In response to a question about the nationwide anti-tax revolt manifesting as “Tea Parties,” David Axelrod – a Senior Obama advisor - revealed this morning on CBS’s Face the Nation that “I think any time that you have severe economic conditions, there is always an element of disaffection that can mutate into something that’s unhealthy. This is a country where we value our liberties and our ability to express ourselves. And so far these are expressions.”  If Axelrod and the Obama White House are allowed to define what are “ healthy expressions,” they will be quick to bring the muscle of the federal government down upon those that do not express their opinions in ways they believe are “acceptable.”  In the Democrat’s dictionary, ‘acceptable’ means opinion that agrees with their progressive political theology.    

Prior Democrat administrations have had no problem bringing the Internal Revenue Service down upon those that are considered enemies of the party vision.  Commentators and contributors to conservative causes routinely face IRS audits under Democrat administrations, but this round of South-Chicago, bare-knuckle political battles will be new to most conservatives. 

In spite of Axelrod’s attempts to warn conservatives that their gatherings and opinions are becoming ‘unhealthy,’ anyone observing the Tea Party gatherings would quickly note that this crowd wasn’t going to be intimidated.  In fact, they seemed to welcome the conflict and as well as the opportunity to express themselves in a public forum.    On top of that, participation was fun!  And this is probably what set Team Obama off the most.  In addition to claiming the right to define what ‘acceptable behavior is’ Obama’s White House really wants to determine what should and should not be enjoyable.

For Democrats, power is enjoyable.  A popular movement that didn’t’ have a liberal in the leadership position left most Democrats feeling left out.  Like any middle-schooler who wasn’t invited to the popular kid’s party, Team Obama reacted as if to say ‘I really didn’t want to go anyway.’  A protest without a liberal leader?  Democrats still can’t figure that out. 

Conservatives protesting?  When was the last time a nationwide series of events motivated working people to make silly signs and gather in a park they usually wouldn’t go to without a bodyguard?  One has difficulty remembering, but April 15 marks the coming-out day for the nation’s thinking people to campaign against government spending, borrowing and bail outs.

The art of protest has been perfected by the left to get maximum emotional impact for their worthless fringe causes.  Journalists love leftist protests because they are always emotional and reporters don’t have to work very hard before someone comes to them and starts complaining about something.  Protest is such an art form now, that young people who would normally have jobs and pay taxes, travel from city to city to participate in the protest du jour.  All of this paid for by Dad’s trust fund.

So what to expect on April 15?  It certainly will be a different site.  Conservatives by nature are not complainers, so protesting does not come naturally.  Leftists whine about everything – which is why most leftist protesters are young, recently post-teenagers.    But age isn’t the only thing that will set the American Tea Parties apart from almost all other protest events.  The bourgeois protest at hand will indeed be different from their liberal counterparts in many ways, including:

10.  A good number of Tea Party protesters will be carrying Starbucks cups – Lefties like Starbucks too, and appreciate the green corporate policy.  They also like the little sayings on the side of each cup.  They don’t understand the sayings, but they look cute.  Since lefties like to throw their fists in the air in angry shows of defiance, libs don’t carry their cups to the march.

9.  Most participants will have checked with their supervisor for the time off to participate - in fact, many of these supervisors will be there, too.  People that have risen to supervisory levels are frequently smart enough not to be liberals. 

8.  The participants that don’t have Starbucks cups will be holding bottled water – Your city won’t provide water or police protection for you like they do for the KKK rally. You are conservative and therefore you are evil. 

7.  Kids will be in attendance, but these will be well dressed and well behaved.  Lefties also bring their children, but usually to display them as victims of corporate greed or oppressive government policy.

6.  Several Tea Party participants will carry umbrellas – if it rains, they don’t intend to go home.  Liberals who get wet resemble soaked mutts looking for a dry doorway.  Have you ever stood next to a wet liberal?  Since Tea Party types have to go back to work, they’ll stay looking nice.  

5.  Humorous Chants – Lefties will hate this primarily because they’ll have to ask someone what the chants mean.  Liberal chants are usually loud and mean-spirited.  Tea Party chants will probably be humorous and upbeat.  Liberals absolutely can’t stand being laughed at and can’t tolerate anyone having a good time.
 
4.  Celebrities will generally not be in attendance – At liberal protests, celebrities are in the thick of the march with their personal assistants marching along-side holding up the mirror.

3.  Conservatives will clap their hands and shout respectfully – Lefties shout obscenities and leave their water bottles in the gutter.

2.  The dress code will be a significant cut above at the Tea Party rallies - Suits and ties are of course optional, but many liberals don’t even know what a suit is or how to put one on.  Most Tea Partiers will have to get back to work in a while anyway.  Liberals protest so they don’t have to get a job.

1.     The single biggest difference will be that Tea Party participants – despite the seriousness of the cause, will smile.  The ability to approach problems with an upbeat attitude is the primary reason one hires conservatives to take on difficult challenges.  Over taxation and over-spending are indeed difficult problems.  Solving them can’t be done by angry, foaming at the mouth, blithering idiots that have trouble conjugating common verbs.