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Political Humor – July 4 Tea Party Preparation

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• ABC’s New Prime Time program lineup after Obama’s takeover
• California Screaming - The Movie
• This Week’s Ten Lame Administration Statements

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Following on the heels of the highly successful Tea (Taxed Enough Already) Parties, conservatives are again gearing up for a larger national set of Tea Party demonstrations set for July 4.   CBS and CNN are of course preparing to ignore it.

After working so hard to extort more income from working Americans, Democrats will be on vacation that holiday weekend resting up for the next round of spending.   The effort to spend trillions of dollars to ruin American health care will be front and center over the next two weeks which should give CNN and MSNBC plenty to cover up.  The execs at CBS are praying for a natural disaster of some sort to provide an excuse for not covering either the incredible cost of the health care takeover or the Tea Party demonstrations. 

Conservatives must build on the experience of last spring’s Tea Party events to be better ready to handle challenges this time around.   Two weeks will pass quickly, so participants should get started now by assembling Tea Party preparedness kits.   The purpose of the Tea Party kit is to have all necessary equipment ready to:

·    show the family a good time on July 4,
·    send a message about over taxation that the politicians can’t ignore,
·    enrage as many of your leftist friends as possible, and
·    enlarge your family’s carbon footprint.

Of course the real challenge is to convince the local news media to cover the event fairly.  If they can even be coerced to attend, local media will be playing its ‘B’ team over the holiday weekend, so this may present some opportunities.  Reporters who haven’t quite made it to the late evening newscast may see their opportunity to make the big time by demonstrating their leftist leanings out in the open or by actually covering the story. 

No matter what the news media will try, conservatives need to be prepared.  The following is a list of top ten items to include with your Tea Party Preparedness Kit. 

10.  Flags – The Stars and Stripes need to be flown wherever possible this Independence Day.  Leftists never understand the attachment to a symbol of American freedom and courage.  As Obama plans to transform this day into ‘Dependence Day,’ a few reminders about original intent seem appropriate.  Should liberals ask why you need to make such a show of your patriotism, tell them you will answer if they can find all 57 stars for each state Obama visited during the campaign.

9.  T-Shirts – A particularly useful one that makes fun of the red and blue Obama ‘Hope’ posters will attract media attention.  Practice Obama’s far off and distant, visionary look for that moment when television cameras point your way.   Look off into the distance and then laugh.  Lefties hate being laughed at. 

8.  Cell phones - Bring a list of the media offices to contact from the steps of the state capitol or whatever venue is appropriate.  Should you not see a particular news station present, call ‘em!  As the press release for the local Tea Party will have long since been thrown away, these members of the leftist intelligentsia will need reminding. 

7.  Video recorders - It is highly important to record TV interviews with participants.  Television and radio editors will do everything possible to make participants look foolish, so an honest recording of the event is necessary.   Should the local “Live at 5” crowd try to present the interview as a slap at conservatives, we’ll post the real video as a rebuttal.  Keeping reporters honest requires filming them in their work.  Like the Chicago CNN reporter that tried to embarrass Tea Party participants earlier this year, a home video of the event just made her look foolish.

6.  Good picnic – preferably the traditional fried chicken – Meatless and gutless leftists express displeasure when humans consume meat products, so fry up a couple cluckers using Grandma’s recipe and consume loudly.  Also bring paper and plastic plates and picnic goods.  Expanding your family’s carbon footprint is a decent slap at ignorant Al Gore followers.
 
5.  Water – Bottled in plastic convenience containers that are easily thrown away when liquid is consumed, water should be brought to the venue as one can be sure that the local liberal establishment won’t provide water and bathrooms like they did for the KKK rally.  The slogan “forever in a landfill” is appropriate here because that is what should become of the Stimulus bill (not to mention the health care takeover).

4.  Parking money – The remarkable degree of civility that marked the previous Tea Party events was measured in the organized fashion in which participants paid their parking fees.  Patiently queuing up in an organized line without any government official telling them to do so testifies to conservatives’ ability to govern themselves.  Liberals seem to need a government hack overseeing their every move.  They also need ACORN members telling them where to park.

3.  Air horns – These are particularly useful for upsetting counter protesters, ACORN members and ‘Citizen Journalists’  from the Huffington Post.  Expect disgruntled leftists (the ones without hangovers) to be in attendance this time.  Should they start to drown out speakers, participants should take a moment and have everyone blast their air horns at ‘em all at once.    Liberals are good only at disrupting others.  Conservatives must be prepared to respond.  Besides.. it feels really good to - for once - be louder than a lefty.

2.  Kids – they are getting the bill from Obama, so they may as well attend the picnic. 

1.  Friends! – This is the big item everyone must remember.  One can’t rely on the media for an accurate headcount for an event that has anti-Obama overtones.  The only way to make an impression is to show up with too many people for the area to handle.  

See you there July 4th!

Obama Hears the Tea Party Message

Robert “Tap Dance” Gibbs, the President’s Press Secretary said this morning that $100 million is a lot of money.  Robert Gibbs really isn’t anyone that one would pay money to see tap dance.  Responding that cutting $100 million from the incredibly bloated federal budget really is significant, Gibbs dressed up the pig as best he could by assailing the Washington culture where $100 million doesn’t seem like a lot of money.

The window dressing Gibbs was trying to apply to the Obama budget was a direct result of the Tea Party rallies held last week.  Understanding that a good portion of the public wants to see the federal government reduce expenditures, Team Obama undertook to eliminate $100 million from the annual budget.  This amounts to an infinitesimally small percent of the total Stimulus package.  Still, Gibbs insisted this was a meaningful effort.  Gibbs and the administration attempted to throw this bone to the Tea Party participants with the hope that their accomplices at MSNBC would make a big deal out of the budget cutting. 

Instead, like several other PR problems this week, the budget cutting is proving more trouble than it was worth.  Reporters tired of being dismissed by Gibbs actually followed up their questions and even called into question Gibb’s flippant attitude.    All this may herald the close of Obama’s first one hundred days.  It may also herald the point where the Leader begins taking a popularity dive. 

Tea Party - Next Steps

Conservative activists are still recovering from the success of this past week’s nationwide Tea Party rallies as well as marveling at how the left-leaning media is still attempting to ignore them.  No matter… they ignore the significance of this outpouring of frustration at their peril.    This does call into question the degree to which media can be trusted with truthfully representing a conservative viewpoint.  In short, they can’t.

Christopher Hitchens once remarked that it is possible to tell an individual’s lack of intellect by the number of times he laughs at the same joke.  In noting how many times Jay Leno got his audience to laugh at the same essential “Bush is stupid” jokes, the topic deserves some investigation.    Leno generally doesn’t attract a conservative crowd, so the studio audience as well as the portion of America that gets its information from the Tonight Show deserves to have its collective intelligence called into question.

Major media outlets regurgitated the same ‘teabagging’ joke for hours on end in their April 15 coverage.  Anderson Cooper embarrassed himself as well as CNN by refusing to grow out of the overused, sexually referenced line.  In the end though, Cooper and CNN were the ones that revealed their immaturity in the face of a real threat to the liberal leftist grip on power. 

It has thus been revealed that both the media as well as the core of solid liberal Obama supporters possess a collective inability to understand how a free market works.  These voters also appear incapable of understanding how frustrated working Americans are at having their wealth confiscated and their liberties compromised.  Both groups may wind up being incredibly surprised in November of 2010, provided the GOP can also understand what is happening. 

In light of trying to communicate with the intellectually challenged in the media, here are a few suggestions for the next round of tea parties

1.     Hold them in front of news stations or march from one to another.  Journalists prefer news that comes to them.  As they don’t like to ask meaningful questions and are probably incapable of understanding a conservative response, they would fully prefer to ignore the next round of Tea Parties.   So the movement must take the message directly to them.  Tea Party goers should also block reporter’s private parking places.  Sometimes this is the only way to communicate to a journalist that the message is important.

2.    Make the next event a picnic.  Having fun is something lefties absolutely do not understand – particularly if it involves one’s family.  If someone is having an enjoyable time, they must have violated someone’s civil rights or exploited the masses in some way.  This would be a good way to tweak leftist senses of justice and fairness.

3.    Get a ”Kick-A%%ed” Sound System!  As nobody knew how many people to expect, many sound systems were far too underpowered to reach all members of the audience.

4.    Have someone actually try to get a head count.  Journalists can’t do math anyway, so Tea Partiers may as well count heads themselves.

5.    Recruit  ‘Citizen Journalists’ of their own – Huffington had some Citizen Journalists that stood out like stuffed pigeons at the last round.  At one western rally, one of these Huffington types had cornered a Tea Party participant dressed in colonial garb.  The questioner was asking why the fellow was there.  The ‘journalist’ smiled through the answers without taking many notes.  At the end, he asked if the participant would mind providing his name.  “Thomas Paine” was the response.  Dutifully, the ‘journalist’ wrote down “Thomas Paine” on his note pad – after asking the Tea Partier to spell it.   He asked no further questions.  (For you libs out there, Thomas Paine was a leader of the American Revolution and author of Common Sense – one of the pamphlets of the day that convinced Americans to resist tyranny. There was very little chance this fellow’s name was actually Thomas Paine.  The Citizen Journalist had no idea.)

At last the day has arrived! This is the opportunity to find out how strong the anti tax movement in the United States actually is.  As conservatives have learned from liberal brethren, protest is a highly effective way to both get out the message as well as to gage the level of support for the cause.  All expectations are for significant turnout at events across the country. 

Lefties are stunned that there are people that object to the Leader’s plans.  They are even more stunned that these folks would take a few hours out of their work to join in a Tea Party Rally.  So to help our liberal neighbors better understand what is going on, here is a top ten list of things that liberals will be surprised to learn about the Tea Party protests:

10.  Most participants actually have jobs.  They also have the ability to keep those jobs over a period of time.  Liberals have a great deal of trouble with this.  That is why they are always looking Obama to pay their mortgages.

9.  Many are young people.  Although participation will include all age groups, the fact that young people participate will be a shock.  The young people that do participate in the Tea Parties will be the ones who can add and subtract.  They frequently subtract the taxes from their paychecks.

8.  Many are women.  This will be another surprise.  But it should be noted that women are quite good at addition and subtraction and are quite sensitive to having the fruits of their labor confiscated to pay the interest on Obama’s debt.

7.  Many participants have some money – at least enough to hit Starbucks after the rally.  This is also foreign to liberals who frequently must beg support from those that are able to keep a job.  

6.  Many participants have families.  The children at the Tea Parties are the real victims of Obama’s generational oppression, so their parents are highly motivated to leave them a world where they may pursue their dreams.  Obama wants young people to serve the state.

5.  Tea Party participants shave and bathe.  Remembering that smell is the primary way to identify an ACORN member in the crowd, most participants will be well-turned out and not dressed for the ’84 Grateful Dead concernt.

4  Party goers understand economics – Understanding that the upcoming round of inflation will be Barack Obama’s middle class tax hike, Tea Party protesters understand that over spending and over borrowing by the government – regardless of how worthy the causes – will cause inflation to rise.  Inflation will be hardest on the middle and lower classes – exactly those to whom Obama promised a tax cut.   

3.  Partiers have the ability to add and subtract.  Most public school grads have this skill, but few actually apply it. Those that do are Tea Party participants.

2. Participants actually enjoy living in the United States.  Actually, many liberals – especially those that are in the United States illegally - also enjoy living here.  However, many liberals yearn for a life under European Socialism with Canadian Health Care.   They just want someone else to pay for it.

1. Participants have a way of life that is worth preserving.  People protesting the outrageous increase in spending understand that spending is a threat to the American way of life.  Providing services to those who don’t pay for them is simply unfair.  Taking from the successful to reward the unsuccessful is also unfair.  Liberals love to harangue society over the issue of fairness, but when lefties are in power, fairness is reinterpreted to mean wealth confiscation from those that earned it.   

In all though, Tea Party protesters enjoy life.  They are typically happier people.  Lefties are usually in pain over something and just can’t understand how anyone can be happy when there is so much unfairness in the country.  And perhaps this is the single most significant difference that liberals will see.  Tea Party participants love their way of life and love their country.  There is no hatred in this crowd.

Huffington Post ran a piece on April 12 comparing Tea Parties to Book Burning Sessions.  It may surprise the lefties that many thinking Americans would readily agree to a mass book burning – as long as the books being burned are copies of the Federal Tax Code.  Burning all of these would provide enough heat to keep Fairbanks warm until Christmas.

Lefties in general and the Huffingtons in particular simply cannot grasp the fact that there are so many people who don’t like the Obama spending plan.  This lack of understanding will drive media coverage of the Tea Party events now two days away.   Media types don’t understand why overspending is damaging and can’t be expected to teach themselves. 

It is therefore important to make sure our local media understands why over spending is damaging.  The central reason is Inflation.  Inflation is Obama’s tax increase on the middle classes.  The Leader has already learned that the world isn’t crazy about buying US debt instruments, so he will have no choice but to print the money he needs.  Not wanting to leave this to the last minute, the administration has already expanded the current money supply very significantly.  Investors are somewhat unwilling to buy US T-Bills because Obama has already shown his willingness to devalue them the next day.

Inflation though, is a detailed discussion.  If one can keep a liberal’s attention for a couple hours, then one has a chance at winning the argument.  Lefties just don’t have the patience to understand facts or history, they just want to get on with the business of feeling. 

Where does that leave the Tea Parties?  The anti tax movement still needs press coverage and the key to gaining it is to make the messages entertaining but simple enough for journalists to grasp.   Pithy signs and witty slogans are all part of the mix, but there is one key element all Tea Party participants must make sure to use – laughter. 
Self righteous lefties are at their core are highly emotional beings.  As we learned during the Clinton years, emotional beings have one objective in life and that is “to be liked.”  Ann Coulter admonishes us to save our breath in discussing issues with liberals because they can’t discuss a rational issue on an emotional level.  When presented with facts, they just spin themselves into hyperventilating , incoherent  masses of goo.  Don’t believe this?  Just watch an interview with James Carville. 

So as the good guys take to the streets on Wednesday to do battle with those that would steal from our children, remember to point and laugh out loud at the ACORN members and counter protesters.  This is the one thing they can’t stand.   And journalists may just be inspired to talk with someone who is smiling, rather than a foaming-at-the-mouth angry skinny guy who hasn’t seen a shower in several days. 

And after the rally?  Start calling the TV station if your local media types get the story wrong.  Local journalists do not own truth, but they will omit facts.  If they do, they should be called on it.  And light up the blogosphere with your stories.  The blog world is the last bastion of uncensored communication. 

So take heart and take notes!  Hope and Change is on the way!  See you on the 15th!

As April 15 draws near, organizers have scheduled Tea Party tax protest events in over 360 cities nationwide.  National media is attempting to schedule a natural disaster of some sort to provide an excuse to avoid covering a conservative, anti-taxation protest.

Covering an anti-tax movement is unfamiliar territory for most in the media.  While journalists typically lean left in their coverage of political events, protests are events that they can’t seem to stay away from.  The key to longer term success is to compel the journalistic community to cover the Tea Party honestly and provide an opportunity to get the anti-taxation message out.  As local Tea Party organizers (read: real community organizers) prepare, a few points and warnings must be provided to all participants.

1.     Make sure you attend.  Journalists are big on making events seem larger or smaller depending upon the nature of the event.  Bob Beckel, a long-time liberal stalwart and news commentator said yesterday that he didn’t believe there would be much of a turn out.  Lefties don’t believe conservatives have the time to show up. (As most conservatives are employed, this is frequently true.)

2.    Bring a sign.  Thoughtful quips and bumper sticker-type quotes are useful, but also provide the kind of short message journalists are capable of understanding.

3.    Beware of ‘plants’ in the crowd that will attempt to keep the event off-message or cause some type of trouble.  Be advised that the Huffington Post – among other organizations – is recruiting volunteers to infiltrate the event.

4.    Seek out the television cameras!  The lefties have no problem with this.  Tea Party participants shouldn’t be bashful either.  Engage with interviewers as they will be seeking out the least informed put on camera.  If you are prepared, get in front of the camera!  Besides, going to them makes the journalists’ job easier and we all know that journalists enjoy easy work.

5.    Remember that Obama isn’t giving the middle class a tax cut.  2010 will see a huge middle class tax increase. INFLATION IS A TAX INCREASE!   Barack Obama and Democrats have chosen the strategy of massive spending increases that they cannot possibly pay for either through taxation or by borrowing.  In 2010, when they resort to printing the money they will need for the Stimulus package and Budget bills, your dollar will be worth less on a day by day basis.  LBJ invented inflation as a way to pay for the Vietnam War without a direct tax increase.  Obama is following this well-worn and disastrous path.  Democrats should be called on it.  Inflation will hurt the poor and middle classes the most.

The Reagan Revolution was enabled by the Presidency of Jimmy Carter, but many trace the actual beginning of the modern conservative movement to 1978.  In California that year, an little-known Orange County businessman named Howard Jarvis organized Proposition 13 – a measure to cut California property taxes by some 57%.   The liberal California media of course did its best to kill the initiative, but Prop 13 went on to pass and become the flagship of citizen’s movements to restrict government’s ability to extort citizen’s wealth via taxation.  It ignited a nationwide tax revolt.

This year, the Tea Party may be conservatives’ best opportunity to initiate another tax revolt.