First Conservative - Political Humor and Obamatudes

Political Humor - The Sotomayor Season of Silly Statements

A nomination to the Supreme Court of the United States is a rare and storied political spectacle punctuated by partisan bickering.  At least it is entertaining.

President Obama’s nomination Tuesday of Judge Sonya Sotomayor was released amid great fanfare from the left and reserved resistance from conservatives.   A graduate of Princeton University and Yale Law School, Judge Sotomayor’s record is cause for concern among conservatives.  Faced with giving a lifetime appointment to an unabashed liberal judicial activist, conservatives are measuring their prospects in the Senate to filibuster the nominee.    If the Maine ladies can be persuaded join the conservative cause, there would be a chance.  Perhaps Snowe and Collins may be looking for a chance to come back over to the Republican Party following their support of Obama’s Stimulus package.

Replacing Justice Souter with another lefty won’t change the Supreme Court, but it will extend the life of the current left-leaning portion of it.  In her mid-fifties, a Justice Sotomayor would be inflicting major damage upon the United States for the better part of 30 years.  Republicans will at least be doing their research while Democrats celebrate her nomination.

As Obama heads for Vegas to raise money for Lighthouse Harry Reid, Washington is left to analyze the Sotomayor nomination.  In doing so, the Washington establishment has already emitted some interesting descriptions of the nominee and the confirmation process.  The following are the top ten silly statements, as of day one of her nomination process.

10.  (Sotomayor would not be) “reflexively liberal” – Matt Lauer, NBC Today Show Host and Hair Implant Guru.  The terms ‘reflexive’ and ‘liberal’ are in fact redundant.  Liberalism is by nature reflexive, requiring no forethought or analysis prior to reaching a conclusion.  Liberalism only requires one to ‘feel’ and not to dispassionately research.   A liberal therefore just reacts to stimuli and is therefore ‘reflexive.’  In his attempt to appear intellectual, Lauer just embarrassed himself.

9.  “Appellate Courts are where policy is made” (Sotomayor Herself).   Acknowledging with a wink and a nod at a Duke University discussion, Sotomayor admitted that court-made policy in fact occurs at the Appellate level and above.  By defining legal parameters and meaning, Courts are then able to make laws where none were intended.  She has to be positively drooling at the prospect of having no one above her to reverse any lunatic liberal ideal that she might promote.   Joking that she was being recorded while making this statement indicates that she was unconcerned others knowing her activist vision.

8.  “You don’t want to be perceived as a bully” (GOP Chairman Michael Steele) referring to investigating the nominee’s history and temperament.  Respectfully, this is akin to a guppy bullying a shark.  Given the shortage of conservative Senators, the GOP has only one long shot to block this nominee – or to block any damaging legislation.  Unless completely united, Republicans can’t bully anyone.  Still, Democrats will position Republicans as the big mean kid on the playground.  

7.  “(Any delay in confirmation would) inhibit the Senate’s ability to focus on other important priorities like the economy, energy and health care” (Senator Diane Feinstein, D-CA).  Ruining the economy, auto manufacturing, dismantling US defense capabilities are all liberal priorities.  Feinstein doesn’t want to be detracted too much by a drawn out confirmation process.    She also needs time to prevent the solar energy industry from setting up shop in the Mojave Desert where the sun actually shines.

6.  “Activist judges have no place on the highest court of the land” (Senator Mark Pryor – D AR) – One has to double check the party affiliation of a US Senator making this statement.  However, as one of the surviving southern Democrat Senators, Pryor has to issue this statement for home consumption.  He quickly followed it up with the thought that he didn’t think Sotomayor fit the description of a judicial activist.  It is interesting that he would arrive at this conclusion prior to Senate hearings.

5.  “I applaud the nomination of Judge Sotomayor to the Supreme Court”  (Senator Arlen Specter D-PA) - Now that he is a Democrat, Specter won’t get nearly the press for disagreeing with Republicans.  Specter counted on a myriad of cameras and lights outside his office when he would poke a finger in the eye of conservatives.  Now that he has confirmed his leftist credentials, there was only one Harrisburg reporter there this morning with a notepad.   Specter will surely be disappointed that the press won’t be knocking on his door to watch him berate Republicans.

4.  “Our Democratic colleagues have often remarked that the Senate is not a ‘rubber stamp’” (Senate Minority leader Mitch McConnell R-KY) in reference to Obama’s request for speedy confirmation.  In the best interests of the country, the longer this confirmation can be delayed, the better.  McConnell is correct in noting that the rubber stamp mentality is now firmly in the Democrats’ hands.  Leftists want this activist on the bench just as soon as possible to accelerate the process of ruining the country’s social and economic system.

3.  “(Sotomayor )is not unfamiliar to the United States Senate” – (White House Press Secretary Michael Gibbs)  Duh…Thinking himself a savvy politician, the White House Press Secretary pointed out that Sotomayor has received Senate confirmation to her current post on the US Court of Appeals (where Sotomayor points out that ‘policy is made’).   This is why Republicans should never make deals with Democrats.  Confirming Sotomayor earlier only weakens their hand in opposing her now.   The GOP can look for their past deals to come back to haunt them during confirmation.

2.  “A judge’s job is to interpret, not make law.  Yet these qualities alone are insufficient. We need something more.” (Obama, the Chosen One)  Of course Obama wants the Supreme Court to make His laws when Congress won’t.  Justifying federal take-over of Health Care, Auto Manufacturing and spending taxpayer funds to pay off ACORN and Unions that supported His election will require sanctioning from the nation’s highest court.   Sotomayor intends to make ‘policy’ – not law anyway.  Obama is content to believe that voters can’t tell the difference.

1.  “Personal experiences affect the facts that judges choose to see” (Sotomayor Herself).  Justifying selective recall and acknowledgement of law and facts frees the potential jurist from having to remember what the important facts are to each argument.   This seems to be the typical liberal position that truth is defined by the personal circumstances at that moment.  Personal experiences then justify any ruling as well as justify selective exclusion of any fact or important evidence.  

Political Humor - Ten Qualifications for Supreme Court Nominees

Now that President Obama has nominated the first Hispanic to the Supreme Court, investigation into her past rulings has begun.   Timed to overshadow North Korea’s threat to the United States, Obama released his pick for the Supreme Court and pleaded for ‘bipartisanship’ in the approval process.  (see the Bipartisanship Trap).

Since Justice David Souter announced his intent to resign, the flurry of activity investigating the next leftist to occupy a seat on the Judiciary has begun.  It was reported that President Obama had some conversations with former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich for advice on how to handle the vacancy.

With the election of Barack Obama the country has thrown off its racist past and now looks with courage to our new Socialist future.  Creating a newer, hipper country that is more sensitive to needs of those long ignored classes is work well underway.  Judge Sotomayor is just the kind of jurist to create the laws America needs to right the wrongs of centuries past.

In Obama’s America, justice is in the eye of the beholder.  The President wanted a Justice that will use every opportunity –regardless of case law or precedent – to advance His causes.  The Justice may not use existing law to stop progress on the march to Socialism.

Accordingly, Team Obama has found a nominee who appears willing to overrule prior legal precedent and use the bench to create the utopia that Obama was elected to produce.  The candidate also seems to be ‘cool’ in the eyes of leftist voters. Judge Sotomayor apparently passed the initial set of Ten Qualifications established by the Obama administration to measure her ‘coolness’ factor.  These areas included:

10.  Has own Facebook page – A measure of popularity is important.  The successful candidate should have a facebook page with over 100 close friends; friends should include Ralph Lauren.   Facebook is necessary to maintain the elitist belief system while appearing to be a regular person.

9.  Twitters - Being popular and staying in touch with the minions for whom the Justice decides important issues is key to determining what is best for the masses.  Telling the masses what is good for them  - whether they like it or not - is part of the new job description for a Supreme Court Justice.   When one can ‘tweet’ pontifications, it leaves more time to watch PBS and CNN to hear what the President wants everyone to think.

8.  Participated in student government – While studying, it is important that the candidate have experienced the futility of working in student government.  It is an essential part of one’s life experience to have put in a lot of work on something that made very little difference.  This provides empathy for governmental positions during upcoming legal cases.

7.  Knows at least one Supremes song – Diana Ross may have been the lead singer, but it is important to understand the magic all three created together.   It is also important to understand that no one took Diana’s spotlight.  President Obama believes this analogy to be important.  Given Sotomayor’s pathetically slow speech at her introduction, she will never overshadow the President’s performance ability.

6.  Has seen “Free to Be You and Me” – The 1973 film proclaimed that little girls didn’t have to marry a prince and little boys could play with dolls if they so chose.  This was a milestone in overturning the culturally oppressive American values system.  It also featured lefty icon and vegetarian Marlo Thomas.

5.  Knows one alien; legal or otherwise – After all, no human being is illegal – they just haven’t been registered to vote.  Disenfranchised human beings have the right to provide low wage labor in exchange for registering and voting as Democrats.  This is a fundamental human right.   The successful candidate should have experience in hiring an alien and in dodging the associated payroll taxes.

4.  Has own iPod;  extra credit if it is an iPhone – Combining technologies, the iPhone and iPod merged uses to provide the ability to talk while listening to music.  Significantly, it impedes the ability to listen to others while using the iPhone.  A leftist Supreme Court Justice must never listen to others, but rely on the leftist values system to right the wrongs of the past 233 years.

3.  Is skilled at Guitar Hero – Connecting with the youth culture makes leftist indoctrination much easier.  This week, Metallica lead James Hetfield said that he believed Guitar Hero is a great gateway drug to real music.  A new Supreme Court Justice should not only understand youth culture and practice, he/she should be adept at the very things youth like to do – like pretending to perform real music.

2.   Knows where Barney Frank has takes his lunch – This is important as future cases before the bench may require a re-evaluation of leftist philosophy.  Since this can’t be done in public, the potential Justice must be prepared to visit the Oracle of Leftist Virtue at his place of feeding.  President Obama is the figurehead Oracle of Leftist Virtue, but He can’t be seen discussing ongoing cases.

1.   Has successfully dodged payment of federal taxes – Team Obama concluded that there are in fact, no Democrats who have paid all their taxes.  Turning this into an asset, Obama insiders have decided to make this a job requirement.  If a Justice can come up with a good reason why he or she didn’t pony up to Uncle Sam that would be a good precedent for other Congressional lefties when they get nailed.   A skilled legal mind would then also come up with reasoning why everyone else should follow a different set of taxation rules.