First Conservative - Political Humor and Obamatudes

Political Humor - Why the GOP is Happy Specter is Out
Given the Republican run of bad luck and poor decisions over the past six months, fate finally threw conservatives a break.  After Senator Arlen Specter’s defection to the Democrat party last week, the GOP was left wringing its hands and wondering how it could stop the Obama juggernaut.   Specter then opened his mouth and all was righted.

Stating that the life of former Congressman Jack Kemp might have been saved if Republicans and the federal government had approved more cancer research funding, Specter converted himself from a Republican inconvenience into a Democrat liability.  Despite the billions spent on cancer research and ignoring the remarkable progress made in certain cancer treatments – including the treatments that saved his own life - Specter chose to embarrass himself by blaming others for the death of a conservative leader.    Specter will fit right in with the Democrat party. 

The media doesn’t quite know how to handle their newfound Democrat friend.  “Reporters” at Huffington Post were agog.  Specter made the rounds on Sunday talk shows repeating the same tired line that he was disappointed that the Republican Party didn’t want him.  It is the mark of a leader to understand what your constituents want.  It never occurred to Specter that he might be taking his constituents in a direction they don’t want to go.  Specter will fit right in with the Democrat party.

Claiming that the Republicans had gone too far right since he joined under Reagan’s “big tent,” Specter concluded that he needed to move to the Democrat side reiterating that Republicans didn’t want him as their candidate.  Parties don’t want candidates they either can’t rely upon, or are likely to lose in the next election cycle.  Specter failed the Republican test on both counts.   He will fit right in with the Democrats.

So Republicans are washing their hands of Arlen Specter.    There are other – lesser known – reasons the GOP is happy about the PA Senator’s defection.   Here are the top ten:

10.  Specter was a rotten member of the Senate softball team.  Ann Coulter would attend the annual  game between Republicans and Democrats and yell at him for throwing like a girl.  She yelled at him for other things as well.

9.  Republicans won’t have to choose a member of the Senate to explain ‘teabagging’ to him.  As he is now a Democrat, Harry Reid can handle that duty.  Imagine that conversation.

8.  Specter will probably stop wearing that American flag pin.  Democrats don’t wear those things as they are citizens of the world now.  Although the President as well as a few others occasionally wear a flag pin, it is usually Republicans that consistently have them on.  Democrats don’t like wearing it because it clashes with cuff links.

7.  Ann Coulter – although never shy about lambasting the Pennsylvania Senator, the pretty blonde commentator now has an entire years worth of fresh material with which to skewer him.  Specter’s outrageous misstatements such as the Kemp gaffe, will keep Coulter’s lines lit and his defection will inflame the invective. 

6.   Republicans will get to watch Specter be introduced to Chris Mathew’s leg.  The ultimate test of liberal electability is to send a chill up the MSNBC commentator’s leg.  How the network chooses to test this is something most voters don’t want to know.

5.  Specter will have to caucus with Democrats.  Harry Reid and the rest of the leftist cabal now have to listen to the 20 year old story explaining why Specter went against Robert Bork. 
 
4.  One less person to get in the way of blocking a Supreme Court nomination.  The somewhat hazy committee rules might permit Republicans to block a nominee from getting out of the Senate Judicial Committee for a floor vote.  The mini-filibuster would be made possible should not a single Republican support the President’s nominee.  Specters’ awesome timing took him out of that role immediately prior to Justice Souter’s retirement announcement.  Specter would have been more valuable here as a Republican.   (Of course the lefties will just change the rules if they need to, but this will make it inconvenient for them.)

3.  Provides reason to extend Minnesota Senate Race – With nothing left to lose, Republicans may now continue to fight the court-determined election outcome in the state of Minnesota.  The thought of Senator Stuart Smalley and Senator Specter together at the same podium should give any court reason to remove several thousand votes from Franken - or at lest to keep litigating the election until 2014.

2.  Will make the Pennsylvania vote worth watching next year.  Specter running as a Democrat against an enraged conservative base will be compounded by the inevitable inflation sure to accompany Obama’s Stimulus package.  Since Specter got himself invited to the Super Bowl party at the White House and then decided to support the President’s bill, voters will have someone local to blame for the inflation tax they will be paying on everything. 

1.  Specter will raise tons of money – for Republicans.  Already angry, the conservative base has a clear shot at Specter now and won’t have trouble raising money to defeat him.

Specter Bails Out – Real Reasons He Defected   

Senator Arlen Specter is now a Democrat.  Although it remains a mystery why Democrats with their large Senate majority would want an unreliable ally, the move came as no surprise to anyone reviewing his voting record. 

Senator Specter of Pennsylvania made it official yesterday by defecting to the Democrat party.  Specter will fit perfectly within the leftist party apparatus as many of his core philosophies cannot be identified.  Except when there was an opportunity to insult his supporters in the conservative community, one could never predict how he would vote on given issues. 

Specter’s support of the outrageous spending contained in Obama’s Stimulus bill may have been the last straw for Republicans.   Pennsylvania conservatives rose up to support Specter’s primary opponent, former Congressman Pat Toomey when Specter defected and supported the bill.  It became apparent to the Specter camp that the Senator would be crushed by the wave of conservative anger in the primary.  Accordingly, he made the decision to possibly be crushed as a Democrat in the general election.  Pollsters are giving the nod to Specter at this point, but when inflation, unemployment and interest rates hit double digits early in 2010, the standings may change.

During his press conference Specter blamed the right wing of the Republican party for driving him out, Specter outlined a litany of reasons for going over to Democrats.  However, there were a few items conspicuously missing from Specter’s list, including:

10.  Obama had him over for a beer on Super Bowl Sunday.  Owing to his volatile and unpredictable nature, Specter has been hurting for friends.  The invitation really meant a lot to him.  Specter was even served snacks on good White House china.  Bush never did that, always saying something about protecting the taxpayer’s property.

9.  Harry Reid promised to take him to that diner in Searchlight, Nevada that he always talks about.  The two Senators are to spend a morning eating pancakes and playing nickel slots.  Specter has to find the place first though.

8.  Nancy Pelosi promised him a ride out to Alcatraz.  Specter should have procured Pelosi’s promise to bring him back as well.  Pelosi will hold that little bit of information from him pending the first few votes.

7.  President Obama promised to campaign for him during the fall campaign.  Obama also promised to let Specter play with His teleprompter.   Interestingly , Obama’s help may turn out to be a disadvantage with the inflation rate expected to hit double digits by campaign time in 2010. 

6.  Specter was promised a major speaking role at the next  NOW convention.  As a Republican, he couldn’t associate with abortion rights activists.

5.  Barney Frank promised him lunch at his club.

4.  Timothy Geithner promised to do the Senator’s taxes

3.  The President set him up for a ride on Air Force One during a photographer’s flight.  Specter thought it would be fun to buzz the Empire State Building.

2.  Was given a new Pontiac by Michigan Governor Granholm.

1.  Hillary promised to drop him off in Mexico City on her way to South America next week to enjoy the sights.