First Conservative - Political Humor and Obamatudes

Political Humor – Obama Abroad

From Mark Twain’s Innocence Abroad in describing an American ‘Pilgrim’:

Such tranquil stupidity, such supernatural gravity, such self-righteousness, and such ineffable self-complacency as were in the countenance and attitude of that gray-bodied, dark-winged, bald-headed, and preposterously uncomely bird! He was… so serene, so unspeakably satisfied!

Originally intended to illustrate an arrogant, uncultured and obnoxious American visitor to Europe, Mark Twain cuttingly presents what Europeans and world hosts have supposedly tolerated in American guests for generations.  They must certainly endure it from the current American President.  President Obama will find it difficult to maintain humility in avoiding Twain’s ugly American description and still uphold his hero status. 

In advance of yet another international trip, President Obama sought to present his humility to the world by stating that the US should not impose its values abroad.  In the following breath, Obama then urged the world to embrace what he termed “universal values” of Democracy, rule of law, freedom of speech and freedom of religion.  Radical Islamists were heartened to hear that the US would not be imposing its values abroad and are now wondering when the US will allow Iran to wipe Israel off the map.

Values are not always universal.  Nations are simply different from one another and occasionally, they get into hostile disagreements.   Countries therefore need armies to protect their unique national values as well as protect a population that deems those values to be worth protecting.  Obama believes that enough unique American national values might be surrendered to encourage other nations to have a more favorable attitude towards the US.   The theory goes that formerly hostile nations or their surrogates would then be less likely kill millions of Americans with a weapon of mass destruction.  Obama’s first step then is to present a different image from Twain’s ‘pilgrim’ so as to encourage those who would be adversaries to be less hostile.

As the leading Citizen of the World (COW), President Obama will endeavor to lower the level of hatred for America by overcoming Twain’s ugly American image.   The trip itinerary includes stops in Europe, Saudi Arabia and Cairo – where He will deliver a stirring, teleprompter aided speech setting the course for a new Middle East peace.   Extending Twain’s symbolism, the trip will also allow the leading COW to address ten important issues near and dear to international interests that would showcase a new American willingness to be, well…. less American:

10. Reiterate that America shouldn’t impose its values abroad – Militant Islamists in particular want to see actions back up this statement.  When George W. Bush imposed democracy on Iraq, militants sent thousands of fighters to the region to resist.  American troops and enough Iraqi people who didn’t want to live under Islamic fascism were able to drive most militants - the survivors anyway - back to their caves.  Obama’s intention to cease imposing American values elsewhere is great news for the Taliban and other jihadists.  (But this seems like too small a concession for them to give up their plans to kill as many of us as possible.)

9.  Show Him NOT bowing before the Saudi King – After the President’s historic bow to a foreign monarch at the G-whatever in Europe this spring, Obama is desperately seeking an opportunity to show Americans that he isn’t subservient to Saudi Arabia.  This time, he will just shake hands with the Saudi dignitaries present.  This photo op will precede the meeting during which Obama will beg the Saudis to increase oil production and stop funding terrorists (neither of which will – of course – happen).

8.  Reassure world leftists that closing Guantanamo Bay detention center is ‘in process’ - The world’s hero walked into the brick wall of reality this May in trying to close the detention center.   World lefties want the thing closed because it would be nice.  Thinking Americans who like the idea of living peacefully in their homes and cities want the thing left open.  Recent polling has given Democrats the backbone to stand up to administration efforts to move prisoners to US soil where some would surely be released by a Clinton-era or other liberal judge on some technicality.  Obama is bringing dancing shoes to this party as world lefties will be insistent on holding the President to His promise. 

7.  Reassure the world that it shouldn’t be afraid of His appointment of Republicans to defense positions - Appointed Republicans include Defense Secretary Robert Gates and future Secretary of the Army John McHugh.  Understanding that US defense has been a key weakness of prior Democrat administrations, Obama selected Republicans for Defense roles in His administration to be held in reserve as scapegoats should any defense disaster occur.

6.  Get European Press back on his side – Europeans are beginning to snicker at the US President’s affinity for flowery and essentially meaningless talk.   All contemporary fads lose their luster at some point and become suddenly ‘uncool.’  Like the Backstreet Boys, the President’s rock star status may have peaked and Team Obama sees the public adoration level declining overseas.   Interestingly, European press is much harder on the President than is the DC press corps because Europeans have had generations of experience seeing through slick talking politicians.  Obama has to present something new to the Europeans that will re-establish his ‘coolness.’   Hopefully He won’t attempt this in the Austrian language.
 
5.  Attend D-Day Ceremonies – Meant for home consumption, the President is absolutely expected to visit the graves of fallen American heroes at the Normandy Beaches where so many of America’s best were lost in June of 1944.  Obama has been practicing his far-off and distant look – the one that inspired those awful red and blue posters labeled ‘Hope’- so that the cameras will capture a properly reflective expression.   After all, this is a prime performance moment.

4.  Visit Nazi Death Camp – An American President is also expected to visit one of the Death Camps preserved in Germany and elsewhere.  The message of evil will not be lost even on Obama.  Will the President understand though, that people with similar beliefs and willingness to wipe out millions are still out there?  Obama will no doubt speak of the necessity of preventing another holocaust, but His methodology may give enemies of the western world just that opportunity.  Again, that far-off and distant look will come in handy.
 
3.  Tell the world that Iran is now invited to the July 4 picnic – The President believes that all picnic gatherings have to put up with a relative that perhaps no one wishes were there.  Inviting a radioactive guest is something quite different.  Obama issued instructions to outlying State Department offices that they should if possible, include Iranian diplomats in the 2009 4th of July celebrations.  Crafted to lure the fanatic nation’s diplomats into a more friendly relationship, the Obama administration will probably have some success in attracting a few Iranians to the party.  After all, the Iranians need the US to continue preventing an Israeli military action to destroy parts of its nuclear program – the part that will one day be tasked to destroy Israel.

2.  Ignore Israel – A trip to the Middle East almost always includes a stop in Jerusalem.  In a move clearly intended to appease fanatical Muslims, Obama left Israel off the itinerary completely.   Appeasing radical Islam is a centerpiece of this trip, so Team Obama will ignore the Jewish state whenever possible.   Ignoring one’s best ally seems the best way to signal ‘change’ to the world.  Iran is filled with ‘hope’ that this ‘change’ will allow them to destroy Israel. 

1.  Talk in Cairo to all of Islam- The essential message of this trip is that America and the west are not your enemies so please don’t try to kill us.  And, could everyone please play nicely with Israel.  Curiously, the United States was not the enemy of Islam prior to (or after) 9/11, but that made very little difference on that day – especially to the 3000 plus innocent Americans that lost their lives. 

It is not clear whether the Obama administration fully appreciates the vise it is creating.  Crafting a Middle East peace will require genuine and verifiable change on the part of the Muslim world.  Obama cannot create this change by pressuring Israel or by giving a great speech.   If a peace deal is to be achieved, it will take a forceful American presence – the kind that Obama himself abhors.   Mark Twain concluded in Innocence Abroad that even ones that endeavor to avoid ‘American behavior’ are by their very nature as Americans, predisposed to repeat it.    

Foreign Policy House of Cards

Author’s note:
This all might be mildly funny if it weren’t so frightening.  What was intended to be a humorous piece highlighting the outrageous foreign policy failures achieved in a very small window of time, turned out to be something that caused a lot of lost sleep.  US citizens must hope that at least someone in Washington is taking foreign affairs seriously.  That 3:00 am call might occur sooner than anyone imagines and the issue might be on a geographic scale, closer than anyone imagines. 

Obama has been letting foreign policy matters stack up at the White House during his fund raising trip to Vegas and Cali.   Following North Korea’s apparently successful test of a strong nuclear bomb, Obama met the issue squarely and forcefully – by introducing his SCOTUS pick.  Then He left town.

It is difficult to determine Obama’s foreign policy strategy – possibly because there is none.  A candidate who believes dialogue solves all conflicts and a candidate willing to talk with any and all adversaries unconditionally, is regarded in the international community as–at best – foolish.  Certainly the North Koreans believe so. 

A foolish leader invites adversaries to create trouble.  Not wanting to be second in line to anyone, North Korea launched an aggressive display of its new weapons and delivery programs over the Memorial Day weekend.  Iran, Venezuela and others are anxious to push the formerly strong United States into submission over weapons and trade issues.   Although He and the CNN folks will try, Obama cannot blame the deteriorating international situation on George W. Bush.  The Chosen One based his foreign policy on an extension of his campaign – complete with speeches and town hall meetings.   The foreign speeches and performances have only established the US President as an orator and a performer.  Action determines leadership skill however, and this President is determined to leave action to others.    Obama believes that his oratorical skill can change hearts and minds.  It will only invite those that wish to attack America, to step up their efforts.

Obama, in his short tenure as President, has achieved some remarkable failures.  The top ten of these (so far), are:

10.  Guantanamo – The issue that won’t go away, closing Guantanamo Detention Center has hand-cuffed the entire administration.  Since Congress intelligently withheld funding for closing the prison, Obama gave an exasperated speech urging Congressional action.  Congress wants to see the plan.  The President wants Congress to make the plan.  At least the stalemate will prevent the base from closing its prison.    Should prisoners be brought to the US, Obama will significantly hurt election prospects of fellow liberals.

9.  France – French President Sarkozy saw early on that the President’s naïve world view would only endanger the western world.  Accordingly, Sarkozy re-engaged his nation as a military contributor to and participant in the North American Treaty Organization.  This gives France a much stronger voice in handling upcoming military conflicts, deployments and defense strategies.    Sarkozy also had the sense not to commit additional French troops to any mission lead by the Obama administration - particularly in Afghanistan.  Solid American leadership might have secured real French participation. 

8.  The United Nations – With Hillary running the State Department, Obama can be sure that the interests of the United States are being sold out just as quickly as is humanly possible.  Following the North Korean nuclear test, Ambassador Rice issued a strongly worded condemnation and met with the Security Council – which also issued a strongly worded condemnation.   The United Nations proved itself incapable of conflict resolution a generation ago, but is quite capable of issuing strongly worded condemnations.  Team Obama believes in the institution however.  It is a great place to talk.

7.  Russia – After watching Obama in action, Russian Strong Man Vladimir Putin is now trying to figure out how his side lost the Cold War.   If Americans elected people like Obama, Russian should be the new language of North America.  Putin sees the opportunity to rebuild the Soviet empire and is pushing back into the formerly independent nation of Georgia as well as other former Soviet bloc nations.  Obama has helped in calling for reduction in the missile defense shield and for reductions in US conventional forces.  This allows Russia to take additional territory.  The next time Russian tanks roll onto another’s territory, Obama will run to one of the 57 states to raise campaign cash.

6.  China – The Chinese are initiating a hostile take-over of the US economy.  Only this take over may not be so ‘hostile.’  Obama is begging the Chinese to buy more US debt instruments to fund His Stimulus programs. The Chinese have figured out though, that if Obama starts printing money, their investments will be worth less and less.   Team Obama truly doesn’t know what to do here.  On top of the economic relationship, Chinese warships routinely harass American ships and planes.   If there is a Chinese policy, it is a mystery to both sides.  And getting the Chinese to restrain North Korea?  Team Obama has given away all leverage and will have to give up something significant to gain Chinese help. 

5.  Pakistan – The civilian government that Obama as then Senator Obama wanted installed, has proven that it might not have the political will to defeat the Taliban rebels currently holding territory north of its capital city.  Fortunately, the Pakistani Army understands that should they lose to the Taliban, their heads would be first on the block.  The Pakistani Army may be expected to fight hard.   The next time Obama wants a civilian government installed somewhere, He should probably make sure it has the will as well as the ability to defend itself. 

4.  Afghanistan – US troops are already there, so this might turn out okay.  Still, Obama is of the immediate gratification generation that is seeking to be immediately gratified with a quick victory.  This is so that the military divisions in that country may be brought home and eliminated to further weaken national defense.  Afghanistan is a generations-long commitment however, and victory will not be achieved by this or the next President.

3.  Iran – Obama has resigned himself to allowing an Iranian nuclear bomb.  He couldn’t talk them out of it.  He released a slick, well translated, well-delivered speech to the Iranians and they didn’t budge.  In fact, they laughed.  If talking doesn’t work, Team Obama has no clue what to try next.  So rather than keep up pressure on Iran, Obama turned up the pressure on Israel.

2.  Israel – The Jewish state has resigned itself to Obama’s acceptance of an Iranian nuclear bomb.  Unfortunately for Obama, Israel hasn’t decided whether to allow Iran to achieve nuclear capability.  That conflict would be horrible but may in the estimation of the Israelis, be unavoidable.  Better to fight the bad guys before the bad guys can wipe you off the map.  Obama simply doesn’t accept that war is inevitable as long as the two sides keep talking instead of fighting.  Iran is willing to talk for as long as it takes to complete their weapons development.  Iran will then fight until others stop talking. 

1.  North Korea – The DPRK apparently freed itself from Chinese and Russian (Soviet) control.  Obama has reached out to the North Koreans in the North Korean language, but has received only threats in return.   This morning, the DPRK’s little dictator stated that the nation would no longer honor the 1953 Armistice that ended the first Korean War.  Obama has been so dumfounded that his condemnations appear weak and childish.  Like the boy who cried ‘wolf’ Obama has strongly condemned the rogue nation so many times that should the DPRK make an actual incursion or strike with one of their weapons, Obama Himself may not believe it.