First Conservative - Political Humor and Obamatudes

Political Humor – Taking Over ABC Prime Time

While media watchdogs are getting spun up over the planned ABC Health Care infomercial delivered from the White House Blue Room next Wednesday, the administration is quietly developing plans to completely take over the rest of ABC’s prime time line-up.   Given some of the recent ratings troubles, the network seems all too anxious to give itself up to the President’s management team.  Obama’s unique ability to maintain high approval ratings while his programs and proposals are failing the public acceptance test is a skill that the programming gurus would like to duplicate. 

Other networks are anxiously watching.   Should Obama succeed in driving ABC ratings up, theirs could be the next networks targeted for federal takeover.  Even if the General Motors and Banking takeovers proved to be financial disasters, NBC and CBS have such horrible ratings that a takeover might be a step in the right direction.

President Obama has enjoyed tremendous success by building upon his personal image appeal to in turn build political support.  Team Obama’s plans for ABC are then to interject struggling administration figures into the prime time line up to show their human sides.  Ultimately, the theory goes that this should translate into additional political support in the Obama drive to completely take over free enterprise in America.

The Obama team also views the takeover as an opportunity to showcase the abilities of some of its lesser-known cabinet officers and allies.  Obama believes that the public needs to know the names and duties of these cabinet secretaries in order to blame them should future problems arise.

The top ten ABC shows then slated for initial take over include:

10. Life on Mars – Although not taking place on the red planet, this series stars Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner  who after testifying before Congress, falls down the Capitol steps and is mysteriously transported back to the year 1976.  Working in the Carter administration, Geithner uses his skill to help Carter ruin the economy and ignite the Reagan Revolution.
 
9.  Extreme Makeover Home Edition – Charged with providing each American an affordable place to live, HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius not only must contend with making over homes, but must make over entire neighborhoods.  This program offers a more dramatic storyline as Sebelius is challenged to extort necessary resources to provide housing for Obama voters.  With her allies at ACORN, the former Kansas Governor rallies support from those that have difficulty holding jobs to provide them with a superior standard of living.

8.  Brothers and Sisters – Another dramatic effort stars Labor Secretary Hilda Solis (who?).  Solis is sent to provide an intervention for a modern California family pushed to the breaking point by the bankruptcy of its state government.  Evil conservatives convinced voters to greedily keep their hard-earned money, caused a tear in the state’s social fabric as well as in the family’s internal relationships.   Solis returns to her native California to show workers that additional government services will be paid for by rich residents.  Unfortunately, the rich residents upon which Solis depends for revenue are either broke themselves or have left the state.  Ever the antagonists, the California GOP attempts to thwart her every move.

7.  Ugly Betty – Moving this storyline from the New York fashion scene to the Washington DC news gathering arena, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs guides young as well as old (some really old) investigative journalists through the minefield that is career transformation.  Growing journalists from inquisitive and challenging professionals into uncurious liberal cheerleaders is Gibbs’ main objective.  The Secretary’s ‘Family Guy’ persona and endless, mindless diatribes eventually numb the minds of even the most hardened member of the DC press ‘corpse.’  

6.  Dancing with the Stars – To be renamed Dancing with the Cars, the Obama administration picked Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm to star in a series promoting the value of General Motors vehicles.  Granholm takes on the herculean task of selling cars that consumers don’t want.  Proposing everything from a clunker buy-back program to tax rebates for new GM purchases, Granholm confronts powerful voters and convinces them that paying trillions of dollars to keep the UAW in place is good for individual citizens – even though the automobiles they build won’t work past 2012. 

5.  Super Nanny – Starring Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, the new Super Nanny series hunts down the worst of the country’s vigilante groups.  Taking on the bad guys at the VFW, Club for Growth and other evil conservative minded organizations, Napolitano faces down opposition with the wit and charm for which she is (un)known. 

4.  Lost – US Representative Barney Frank anchors the cast of the revamped program showcasing politicians who should have retired years ago.  The Obama administration and House Democrats convinced Frank to take the role by offering him chairmanship of the House Financial Services Committee.  It didn’t dawn on Frank until later that he already held that position.  “Lost” tells the stories of Congressional Democrats that the Obama administration believes could become a liability in the future.

3.  Grey’s Anatomy – The classic hospital drama is enhanced with the addition of little known Budget Director Peter Orszag with cameo appearances by Tim Geithner and Lindsay Lohan.  The cast confronts the cost of health care by proposing a government takeover – which only makes matters worse.  Cheered on by the lawyers lobby, Orszag works to find a solution where no one has to pay for treatment or for huge malpractice awards.  The season-ending mystery is where Orszag will find anyone willing to practice medicine.

2.  Dirty, Sexy Money – The Obama administration hopes to rehabilitate former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer with a leading role in this dysfunctional family drama.  Wait.. this isn’t fiction.  ABC cameras just shoot the former Governor’s daily activities and get a pretty good show. 

1.  The Bachelor – Changing the theme and format somewhat, the new series stars Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. The former first lady is in constant pursuit of the folks that treat her husband as ‘The Bachelor.’  The New Bachelor version is a never-ending chase thriller showing Clinton’s tireless pursuit of her husband’s female companions between trips to North Korea.  Clinton shows how the modern, liberated woman can take on a professional leadership career and still put up with a lying cheat of a husband.