First Conservative - Political Humor and Obamatudes

Political Humor – Childproofing North Korea

Liberals view management of international relations to be similar to child rearing; behavior can be modified by careful management of the relationship, particularly by favoring the ‘carrot’ strategy over the ‘stick’ one.    Liberals further view use of the ‘stick’ strategy as somehow bullying other nations.  Instances where the United States has offered a reward for certain behaviors is also interpreted by international lefties as bullying.   To keep his international approval ratings up, President Obama has avoided behavior he believes to be bullying; instead relying on his oratory skills to change the hearts and minds of adversaries.   The results of these efforts may be now seen in Iran, Venezuela and North Korea. 

Following this weekend’s nuclear and missile tests in North Korea, the Obama administration issued the predictable ‘strongly worded condemnation’ and then clammed up.  Obama then took Tuesday morning to introduce Sonya Sotomayor as His SCOTUS nominee to make laws that Democrats can’t otherwise get passed.  This derailed the entire North Korean strategy of headline-grabbing as CNN began the canonization process for the new nominee. 

The Obama foreign policy strategy is derived from tactics attempted by parents to minimize tantrums thrown by two year olds.   And any parent can testify to the effectiveness of these techniques and should be able to predict the results when they are applied to despotic regimes.    Team Obama has built its entire foreign policy on handling children.   Below are the main child behavior methods currently being applied by the Obama administration to handle the North Korean crisis.

Encourage the Child to use Words - North Korea uses a lot of words in an attempt to secure appeasement.  However, the Obama administration uses a lot of words well.  In fact, Obama uses and reuses many of the same words.  Typically the words coming from administration spokespersons or from the Secretary of State are the same ‘strongly worded condemnations’ recycled in response to every North Korean provocation.    Who the adult is in this relationship is in some dispute. 

Use Distraction – Team Obama is actually quite good at this.  After encouraging the child to use words to solve problems, Obama needed a forum for those words.  The United Nations fits this role perfectly.  Following last weekend’s missile and nuclear tests, the United States worked through the cigar club at the UN which issued a strongly worded condemnation.  This followed a strongly worded condemnation from the US government directly and similarly strongly worded condemnations from Russia, China and other UN members.   The international community then joined with the Obama administration in an act of fruitless word mongering.  In the end, it was only Obama that wound up distracted.

Teach Alternatives to Tantrums – Now that the UN has joined the administration in strongly condemning the North Korean actions, Obama is left with something of a void in trying to find an alternative that the North Koreans will find attractive.  Should Obama reward the North with food or other aid, He will be rewarding the behavior that He has so strongly condemned.  What does He do now?  Good question.  Obama has talked Himself into a corner at the UN and has very few options short of just allowing the DPRK to develop nuclear warheads and missiles.

Time Out - When confronted with an unruly child, the parent puts the child in ‘time out.’  Knowing that ‘time out’ deprives the child of attention, the theory goes that the child will modify his behavior.   After its weapons tests over the Memorial Day weekend, the DPRK was put in ‘time out’ by the administration, which after an initial strongly worded condemnation, threatened further ‘isolation.’  As the world’s most isolated nation, North Korea correctly interpreted this as meaningless since it is already the most isolated nation in the world and seems to like it that way.    Obama is the one banging his head against the furniture, as the DPRK couldn’t care less if they are made ‘more isolated.’

Remove the Child – Moving the child to a room where there are few distractions is also a favorite strategy.  The theory goes that the child will get bored and lonely and eventually submit to the will of the adult.  However, North Korea has been isolated for years and seems content in its own room.  When Obama opines that the North’s actions will only further their isolation, He mistakenly presumes that the DPRK actually cares.  Again, it is Obama that appears foolish.  If one is going to threaten a consequence, the consequence should probably be something that the child cares about.  Obama believes that acceptance into the Obama club of favored nations should constitute the reward.

The Carrot Strategy - Adults that raised their own children understand that one doesn’t achieve positive behavioral modification without the use of both the carrot and the stick strategies together.  Team Obama believes that by talking and ‘being nice’ to other nations is all the reward other nations will need to improve their relationship with the US.   Those nations that fail to live up to Obama’s behavioral expectations will not be bullied, but will instead receive the silent treatment.  If the silent treatment is the worst the North Koreans can expect, look out.  They will be compelled to do something instead of just threatening action.  The Obama administration has far too much confidence in its ‘stick’ or, perhaps, in its ‘schtick.’ 

Treating North Korea as anything except a dangerous pariah is childish and dangerous.  The Obama administration desperately needs some adults in its ranks who understand that the only way to prevent North Korea from acquiring and distributing nuclear weapons and delivery systems is to act unilaterally. The Chinese and Russians will never help pressure DPRK as it is in their interests to see a weaker America.   The only way to resolve the situation without allowing the North to develop and distribute these weapons systems is to be prepared to and if necessary, act unilaterally.  It is childish to put America’s future in the hands of Russians, Chinese and UN members that would like to see a weakened United States.