Hello, Everyone!

Would like to invite you all to visit the new web site for First Conservative.

The actual web address is: http://www.conservativeblog.thewebinfocenter.com/  We won’t be setting any redirects at this point, as people are still hitting our old articles.   Some of these archived pieces have been updated at the new site.  The lefties in the Federal Government have proven even more comical than first imagined.  Unfortunately, these could all be very expensive laughs.  So stay tuned for more fun laughing at the lefties!

Join us at the new address!  We look forward to hearing from you!

The First Conservative Team.

Technorati Tags: conservtive

Political Humor - The Bipartisanship Trap

The Wall Street Journal reported recently that White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel  recently invited a small number of House Republicans to a White House ‘tea’ of sorts, to encourage their participation in the takeover of America’s Health Care system.  Even Democrats can do the math though.  Not one Republican vote is required to pass any legislation –no matter how liberal - in the US House.  The Senate is very nearly filibuster proof.

So why the real interest in ‘bipartisanship?’  Democrats aren’t just being nice.   Democrats are in totally new territory now as they are able to govern without GOP influence or contribution.  Total control however, means total responsibility.   Democrats love to hold others accountable for undesirable consequences but run like roaches from a light when they have caused the problems.  With nearly complete liberal control of government, there isn’t anyone around to blame should something go wrong.   The dome light has come on in the liberal limousines; now, Democrats are vulnerable because they are completely responsible for their own disasters and even CNN won’t be able to cover for them.  

Most House Democrats seem to reject the idea of bipartisanship.  Believing like Hugo Chavez that George W. Bush was in fact the devil and that Dick Cheney should be imprisoned for protecting the US homeland, Democrats are pushing a hard left agenda using the recession as proof of conservatism’s failure.  This will only work until their policies bring the inevitable double-digit inflation and interest rates when Stimulus spending begins in 2010.  Some of the more insightful lefties on Capitol Hill understand this and also understand they will be held completely accountable.

What happens in 2010 could be doubly entertaining.  Liberals have no problem throwing an ally under the bus should that ally lose her usefulness.  Nancy Pelosi should be (figuratively speaking of course) seeing the underside of a people-mover fairly soon.   She is now a distraction and an embarrassment.  Should – as even Barack Obama himself has foreseen- elevated inflation and interest rates occur as the result of Stimulus spending, Democrats will need someone besides themselves to hold accountable.  Perhaps it will be Barack Obama himself. 

A fratricidal, inner-party war would doom Democrat ambitions to take over the country for good.  Accordingly, Democrats believe this must be avoided and the best way to avoid dissention is to bring some gullible Republicans into the mix.  Since Arlen Specter sold out, there aren’t any remaining Republicans in the Senate –possibly excepting the two Senators from Maine - foolish enough to fall for this tactic, but there may be some in the House.  Being able to say to the public “but he voted for it too” is a childish but proven Democrat tactic for avoiding responsibility at election time.

Democrats are madly fishing about for political cover on several key issues and are seeking bipartisanship to protect their re-election prospects in several areas- including the following Top Ten issues:

10.  Health Care – the most talked about policy of recent weeks, the Obama takeover of the US Health Care industry would be handled in the same fashion as the Guantanamo closure or the Auto Industry takeover.  Democrats saw how early these issues blew up on them and are seeking some Republican participation.  A few GOPers in the pool would help distribute blame.  Perhaps the leftists should just roll out Hillary for another round of verbal flogging about health care.

9.  Energy – Cap and Trade are sure to drive prices up.  Republicans should say to Democrats, go ahead, we’ll figure out a way to repeal it once you all lose the next election.  The GOP must stay out of this and keep saying ‘no’ to energy tax increases.  Democrats need Republicans on board to blame them when prices for home heating oil exceed consumers’ ability to pay. Lefties should plan to have Obama can journey to Vermont each weekend net winter to help cut firewood.

8.  Spending – The Stimulus bill culled out a few Republicans who were hiding in the weeds when Obama proposed his outrageous spending bill.   Arlen Specter heard the outrage and quickly defected to the Democrats.  Snowe and Collins remain the only two Republicans in DC to support the bill.   When Obama and the US Treasury are unable to reasonably borrow this much money, inflation will rise, spurring a significant voter backlash.  Inflation will be the Democrat’s middle class tax increase.  The GOP must say ‘no’ to more spending and must keep hammering the message about inflation being the Democrats tax increase.    Democrats may find it difficult to add Republicans to additional spending bills as conservatives up for re election have begun working hard against the likes of Specter, Dodd and others.  On the positive side, Specter has proven himself a superb fund raiser – for Republicans.

7.  Education Reform – The abysmal state of public education is crying out for reform – not money.   Now that Dems are in complete control, one should expect educational performance to improve.  Of course under control of the Teachers Unions, performance will continue to decline.  Without GOP approval, school failure and dropout rates will become the Democrat’s albatross.  Bipartisanship here only gets the GOP blamed for existing failures.   It won’t get ‘em invited to Prom.

6.  Legal Reform – Everyone hates lawyers.  But lawyers own a good chunk of the Democrat party.  The only way to control growth in health care and other business costs is to reform the legal system so that lawyers don’t fund their entire retirements on another’s misfortune.   The GOP again must resist any call for bipartisanship in legal or health care reform and let the disaster come to rest on the liberal’s stoop.

5.  Card Check or “Employee Free Choice” – Driving business overseas has been hung on Republicans for years.  Now, with no appreciable Republican presence, Democrats will be exposed as the ones driving manufacturing out of the country.  Republicans need to stay out of the lefties’ spotlight and shine their own on how many jobs the UAW and House Democrats have driven to China.   China will then use their profits to purchase US T-Bills.   Giving the country away, dollar by dollar is a Democrat specialty.

4.  Foreign Policy – Jimmy Carter proved to be an embarrassment to his Party as well as his country.  Obama will probably be the same.  Trusting his words, Democrats will be stunned when Europe and Islam turn out to dislike the US just as they did under the Bush presidency.  Europe will continue to allow Obama to house all Guantanamo prisoners and provide all troops for Afghanistan.  (It is probably just as well that the US is doing the Afghan fighting – it would be difficult to fly in enough beer for the Germans to be effective.)

3.  Court Appointees – People hate lawyers (a recurring theme).   People also object to courts making laws.  Democrats will get their way with at least one Supreme Court nominee.  However, that nominee will replace another sullen, leftist Supreme Court Justice and won’t impact the court very much.  The new Justice will be a poster child for liberalism.  Republicans should object where they can, but need to avoid any appearance of support for a liberal appointee.  Republicans got zero support from Democrats prior to John McCain and the gang of traitors bartering away the futures of several good conservative jurists. Conservatives must let the liberal jurists embarrass themselves and use their decisions as campaign fodder. 
 
2.  Defense Cuts – Too serious to be funny, cutting defense in an age of increased threat is ludicrous.  Unfortunately for all Americans, the Obama administration has endangered US security by restricting intelligence gathering and declining to fund development of the F-22 aircraft.  Carter made his mark on the military by cutting the B-1 and the cruise missile program.  Fortunately Reagan restored these programs – both of which are mainstays of the US defense capability.  Bill Clinton appreciated these weapons systems when he took time out of the late nights in the Oval Office to review actions against the former Yugoslavia.

1.  Courting Radical Regimes – President Obama believes that talking solves problems.  Occasionally He is correct.  The naïve view that countries will help the US combat terrorism if they liked us more is childish and dangerous.  Nations – like people- act in their self interest regardless of what nations they like.  Iran and other despotic regimes are counting on Obama to want to talk with them.  The longer they talk, the more time they have to build their nuclear arsenal.  Talking with the US may also prevent an Israeli military strike on Iran’s nuclear facilities.  In the end, Obama believes the US has been an international bully.  The President is quite happy to hand that role over to the Iranians.

Technorati Tags: Political Humor, The Bipartisanship Trap

Political Humor - Top Ten List of “No’s”

Democrats have made a key strategic error in painting their opposition as the party of ‘No.’ There really are some ‘No’s that the public wants, such as ‘No’ Inflation, ‘No’ unemployment, ‘No’ high interest rates.   This trifecta buried Jimmy Carter in 1980.  It is now staring the current President in the face.  The only problem for the country is that Barack Obama is Jimmy Carter on steroids.

After Obama’s launch of the most ambitious Presidency since FDR, the party of ‘No’ is looking better and better.  While refusing to take responsibility for extending the current recession, President Obama ignited a monumental spending spree with no idea how to pay for it.  Like closing Guantanamo detention center where the decision was taken without a plan for execution, the President now has to come up with one and reality is setting in.  Even university economists are now predicting rapid inflation once His spending hits high gear in 2010, and – gee whiz what a surprise – voters apparently don’t want trained killers from Guantanamo in their homeland, so the federal government is buying off folks in Bermuda so we can dump them there.

Carter’s foreign policy ineptitude may also be overshadowed by that of the current President – and perhaps with even more catastrophic results.  Soon to embark on an Apology Tour to the middle-east, the President will re-promote the idea of a two-state solution to the Arab-Israeli conflict.  Only the radical Islamists are thinking that the two states involved will be Iran and Iran.  Jimmy Carter had some success in middle-east peace.  The only problem was that one of the participants in that process wound up on the receiving end of some significant Islamic ‘ill-will.’   Obama will have to do much more than rely on his magnificent oratorical skill and a working teleprompter to achieve a meaningful result.  And while Obama talks, Iran builds nuclear weapons.

After watching the current President kick-off his term by extending the recession and endangering the lives of Americans as well of those of America’s allies, the prospects for the ‘party of No’ are improving. The duty of an opposition party is to –of course – say ‘No.’ Liberals in the media ridicule the strategy as out of synch with the mood of the country.  On many issues, saying ‘no’ is just what adult Americans want.

Below is the current Top Ten list of items Americans want somebody in government to say just say “no” to:

10.  Guantanamo Prisoners moving to the US – Obamamaniacs believed that because “He won” the election, that He could do what he wanted.  Supporters of the President mistook an election win for an appointment to the throne.   (The media have a problem with this distinction as well.)  His plan to move trained murderers from where they are safely held at Guantanamo Naval Base to locations in the United States has sparked an outcry of opposition – even from Democrats.  Americans want someone in a position of authority to say ‘no.’ Moving the prisoners onto US soil ensures that at least one liberal judge will find a reason to release some of these lunatics onto the street.   The unbelievable surprise to all this is that Team Obama was surprised at the level of resistance. 

9.  Unemployment – Instituting an economic policy requiring expansion of the money supply will necessarily extend inflation and thereby unemployment.  Although economists that work for universities disagree, those economists that have real jobs understand that companies will resist hiring until the economy – including inflation – stabilizes.  By over spending and over borrowing, Obama will produce the opposite result of what he intends.  The party of ‘no’ needs to step in and stop the over spending and over borrowing.  They would be a fabulous campaign issue in 2010 and beyond.

8.  Auto takeover – President Obama proved his worth as a CEO by driving two major US Corporations into bankruptcy – perhaps never to emerge.  In fulfilling a campaign promise to his Union thug supporters, Obama intervened to take over Chrysler and GM, only to find that this was real work.  (Democrats hate real work and few have experience at it.)  Paying so many UAW members for not working is un-American.  Americans want someone to say ‘no.’  

7.    Opening borders – Schools, social services and medical institutions are overwhelmed by demand from persons here without permission.  Americans are simply tired of paying for services to people who arrived illegally.  Although the Bush administration had some trouble understanding this, American voters burned down the Senate telephone system during the last immigration debate and the GOP finally got the message.  Most of those in the GOP that didn’t are now on the unemployment line with the rest of us.

6.  Prosecution of interrogators – Democrats automatically prosecute those in government that achieve results.  After 9/11, the federal government focused on protecting the country as they were sworn to.  They achieved their objective.   Now, leftists want to prosecute those that achieved such wonderful results.  After all, Democrats can’t have a government without a crisis to escalate.

5.  Nancy Pelosi – A surprise addition to the Top Ten list, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was such an embarrassment last month, that key Democrats are looking to throw her under the bus.  The issue centers on whether or not Pelosi knew of the enhanced interrogation methods used by the CIA to protect America after 9/11.  It is clear now that she did know.  She pitifully tried to deny this in a widely covered press conference where some in the media actually asked challenging questions.  The GOP is sitting on the sidelines except to point out that the Speaker has no problem lying in public.  Pelosi’s real problem is with the lunatics in San Francisco that were shocked to learn that she knew of the ‘waterboarding’ process and raised no objection to it.  The hypocrisy of railing against ‘torture’ while she was an accomplice to these treatments won’t find support in the heartland.  The Pelosi solution to the entire episode is to just declare the issue ‘closed.’  CNN seems happy with this.

4.  The Deficit – One of the key economic disasters staring at Obama across the Oval Office desk, the deficit will prove one of His biggest problems primarily because these are bills that have to be paid.  Team Obama has no problem spending or extorting money from those it doesn’t agree with.  There just isn’t enough money to extort and still pay off all His bills.  Once again, the party of “no” is being called on to show some adult level leadership and stop Him from handing off such huge bills to US taxpayers.

3.  Spending – Of course the core problem with the deficit is spending.  Researching the habitat of field mice or guppies might be interesting but it is not going to provide the kind of jobs that will sustain an economy.  Spending on ridiculous programs must be stopped if the public is to have any prospect for a growing economy.  Americans understand that a growing economy is the ONLY avenue to upward mobility for its citizens.  Obama is establishing a European caste system to replace America’s system where ambition and production are rewarded.

2.  Cap and Trade – As payoff to his environmental supporters, the President is pushing a Cap and Trade system to restrict the ability of energy companies to produce enough fuel and energy to keep America warm next winter.  Interestingly, liberal voters in New England looked at their heating bills and determined that they are already paying enough to heat their homes.  The GOP needs to lead the charge to kill Cap and Trade.  They should find enough northern Democrats in the House and Senate that don’t want to wind up unemployed, to join them in saying ‘no.’

1.  Health Care –Obama approached health care takeover in the same fashion that He approached closing Guantanamo – with no plan and no idea how it would actually work.  An Obama takeover of health care would have the same positive result as the takeover of General Motors.  While the costs of health care have steadily increased, Team Obama has ignored the two main reasons – shortage of delivery options and increased costs to insure health care practitioners.  Without reining in the legal costs of delivering health care and without increasing the supply of practitioners, costs will only increase. Even University economists understand this.    Team Obama has determined that they want to provide free health care for all Americans.  They have no idea how much ‘free’ will cost.  The GOP needs to say ‘no’ to this disaster as well.

Technorati Tags: Party of No, Political Humor

Political Humor - Obama in Wonderland

Author Lewis Carroll was one of the Victorian era’s more interesting literary characters and at times, produced work that appeared seriously disturbed.  Using the artistic license allowed by creating a story in dreamland, Carroll took his readers through surreal adventures in Alice’s Wonderland.  Subject to reinterpretation over the years, the stories Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass have combined characters and undergone adaptations.  The central concept though, of falling down a hole and entering an alternative universe, remains a key element. 

When the country elected a new kind of Democrat last November, the nation didn’t exactly fall down a rabbit hole, but rather tripped over something a gopher left in a pasture.  The nation will recover from the fall, but for now, voters have indeed entered an alternative universe where miraculous powers of persuasion and magical slogans are believed to be the essential requirements to change the world.  If we only ’have the audacity to hope’ and say ‘yes we can,’ societal utopia will be ours.  The only problem is that Obama really believes in this alternative universe.  The alternative universe frees liberals from logic, reason and lessons of history. 

History’s most important lessons involve catastrophic failures of previous world leaders.  Marxism and appeasement are two great lessons that were thought to have been well-learned this past century.   North Korea is demanding appeasement in exchange for the mere promise of stopping its nuclear program.  Obama’s belief that Kim Jong Il would like to join the Obama fan club and should be willing to stop weapons development in exchange for membership is childish, risky and dangerous.  The folks in Hawaii may find out how close the DPRK can come to dropping a missile down Mauna Loa in the next few days.  Obama has no option other than confrontation – which North Korea guesses He will be unwilling to take.  Should Obama choose the path of appeasement, the problems will be far worse in the next few years just as they turned out after 1938.

Socialism is another twentieth century disaster that Democrats- including the aforementioned President – are trying to resuscitate.  Taking property and value from one and giving it to another might be a good way to buy the vote of the person on the receiving end of the transaction, but the practice is a Ponzi scheme that will collapse like the housing market.   As Maggie Thatcher said, “the problem with Socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money.”

History teaches many other valuable lessons – like inflation results from government paying its bills with newly printed money.  History also teaches that dream merchants and political snake oil salesman have the ability to convince people that their world can be different if the voters only have courage to believe it so.  The population can also write major benefits to itself, such as free health care and make others pay for their benefits, if only it posseses the will to make it so.  These outdated and failed philosophies illustrate the awful power of make-believe.  In 2009, these failed philosophies are being repackaged and resold – just like the new Alice in Wonderland film scheduled for release in March.  

Alice in Wonderland is a classic tale taking place in that dreamland somewhere between sleep and reality – not unlike the place the current administration lives.  Additionally, some interesting character similarities between the new Alice in Wonderland and the Obama Wonderland have also begun to emerge. 

Below then are the main characters in the new Obama in Wonderland episode about to unfold.

White Rabbit – Rahm Emanuel - Keeping the President on his game and hitting the right tee time is a big job.  Not only does Rahm continually keep Obama on course to ruin the country, he does it with colorful – if repetitive – language.  Hollywood loves gritty characters, so Rahm should fit right in as this administration’s White Rabbit.   Saying “ I’m  $!@#$@^& *  late!” would be a nice twist.  The White Rabbit’s ability to quickly disappear also fits.

Queen of Hearts –No doubt about this one, Hillary Clinton. (Yes, this was too easy.)  The Queen, famous for uttering “off with their heads!” exclaimed this at a cabinet meeting while still under partial sedation for her broken elbow.  This would have been fine except the subject under discussion was health care reform.  No one dared laugh.

Mad Hatter – Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner.  The Hatter poses a riddle to those present at the tea party.  When the audience gives up, the Hatter acknowledges that he doesn’t have the answer either.  When Geithner is asked how the country is to repay the outrageous sums borrowed under the Stimulus bill, Geither just says that the country’s growth will pay for it.  This is Washington-speak for “we don’t know and we don’t care… it is someone else’s bill to pay.” 

Tweedledeedum – Kim Jong Il – The world can easily see Twedledee and Tweedledum morph into the same short stubby character and attempt to take over the world.  The Obama administration embraces the character with the objective of giving him what he wants so he won’t blow up the magical garden.   Obama has grown this character into a real threat and should the Chosen One allow the DPRK to continue its nuclear development while the US stands down from missile defense… the next several years will be the most dangerous that US voters have faced for generations.

Cheshire Cat – President Obama Himself.  One that hides behind his smile and good humor, the President throws out absurdly expensive project after project.  When questions arise, Team Obama impugns the character of the questioner and falls back on the ‘yes we can’ theme from the campaign.  And should one of these programs or ideas turn out badly, the President will be nowhere in sight to accept responsibility. He will leave behind only his smile. 

Knave of Hearts – Commentators on Fox News - Charged with tart theft, the Knave of Hearts is put on a show trial for the crime.  Fox News is enjoying the publicity generated by Team Obama’s continuous public demonizing.  Stealing the country’s ‘Hope and Change’ attitude is actually what Fox is charged with, but, like the Queen’s tarts, the item of value thought to be stolen really isn’t important. 

The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, All on a summer day:

The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, And took them quite away!

Technorati Tags: Obama in Wonderland, Political Humor

Political Humor – Democrat Stages of Early Adolescence

Enjoying another Fathers’ Day, America took a few moments over the weekend to relax and enjoy what it means to be an American Family.  Although a specific definition of ‘American Family’ is quite impossible to produce, suffice it to say that celebrating the challenges, joys and even some of the failures of parenthood is just cause for a good back yard cookout.

While the dogs and young ones were tearing up the landscaping with games of chase and Frisbee, it called to mind why the youthful and carefree lifestyle is so enjoyable; it is free of serious responsibility.  In politics, youthful and ‘hip’ leaders are also called to this lifestyle for exactly the same reason.  These modern day Peter Pans are called Liberals.  

Anyone who has raised children into their teenage years understands the challenges.  Watching the young one stay awake into the morning hours and then listening to him whine about lethargy and fatigue after waking at 6:00 am seems illogical to adults.  To the teenage mind, staying up late and getting up early are two events that aren’t connected.   

Democrats and liberals have difficulty connecting events that to most adults appear to be logically associated.   A favorite example is the closing of Guantanamo detention center.  Liberals wanted the facility closed, but had no real idea what to do with the prisoners.  The two issues just weren’t connected.   As a result, the President issued the closure orders and when real people objected to the plan to move the detainees onshore, liberals were dumbfounded that this was even a problem.  Eventually, Obama paid off the Bermuda government to take a few of these lunatics out of Guantanamo, so instead of US voters being upset, the UK government is upset. It seems that the Obama administration failed to understand that the government of Bermuda and the United Kingdom were linked in any meaningful way.

Failure to make logical associations between action (or inaction) and result is only one hallmark of adolescence.  The following are the top ten reasons that Democrats and Liberals really are adolescents in their governing philosophy and emotional development.

10.  Continuing egocentrism; Intense self-focus -  One old joke holds that the most dangerous place in Washington is between Joe Biden and a television camera.  Now that Democrats control Congress and the White House, it would seem that there is plenty of camera-love to go around.  However, now that team Obama sees its poll numbers slipping, it has called in its adoring fans at ABC to provide a free one-hour infomercial on the next great government takeover; health care.  This only seemed natural after Obama was referred to as an international ‘god’ by domestic media.   All middle schoolers remember the popular and conceited leader supported by his/her brainless groupies…   Obama is just extending the tradition to the federal government.

9.  Continuing concern for gaining social approval – Being part of what the sixties generations referred to as the ‘in-crowd’ is central to a Democrat’s self esteem.  The ‘in-crowd’ defines cultural norms - such as the ability to twitter.   Supreme Court liberals also use international law as basis for evaluating legislative intent – purely for the purpose of ‘fitting in’ with the rest of the world.  Adults care more about doing the right thing than they do about fitting in. 

8.  Questioning of social conventions and re-examination of own values and moral/ethical principles, sometimes resulting in conflicts with parents - Supreme Court nominee Sonya Sotomayor famously opined that Latina females made better decisions than white male counterparts within the US judiciary because of their unique perspective on life.  Children have a unique perspective on life as well. 
This perspective usually centers on enjoying themselves while someone else pays the bills.    Democrats want others to do the work and pay the taxes while they enjoy perpetual re-election.  For those that remember their first middle school group project, the popular kid always got the most credit for the least contribution.

7.  Frequent mood swings - Ms. Boxer, current Senator from the bankrupt state of California, became incensed over being addressed as “Ma’am” last week during a Senate Committee hearing.  The general in question, Brigadier General Michael Walsh of the Army Corps of Engineers was testifying before Boxer’s committee and committed the sin of addressing Ms. Boxer as “Ma’am” – the standard respectful term of a military officer.  Ms. Boxer then pulled out her cell phone and sent a blast text message to her peeps about being disrespected by the Brigadier General.  Emotional reaction to inconsequential events – especially when no disrespect was ever intended – is a characteristic of the middle school ‘in-crowd.’

6.  Changes in own expectations alter previous relationships with parents and others, often resulting in greater conflict – Federal assistance provided to Bank of America and Citigroup was to be the initial olive branch extended by liberals to the business community.  Following the liberals’ generosity, banks were supposed to agree to be taken over and used by the Obama administration as tools in further manipulating the free economy.  Bankers quickly discovered that working for the federal government was very much less than enjoyable – not to mention profitable and quickly worked out a method to repay taxpayer funds.  Democrats then tried to refuse the return of taxpayer money as that would release banks from government control.   As with most middle school relationships, control is the central issue and money is a means to achieve it.  

5.   Focusing more on peer friendships – This is a critical failing of the Obama administration in particular. The President based his entire foreign policy around inviting other nations to be part of the world community.  It never dawned on him that there might be some that didn’t want to join.  North Korea still wants to threaten the US with nuclear and missile capacity.  Every attempt to bring the DPRK into the ‘community of nations’ has been roundly laughed at.  Obama’s most serious statements of objection are laughable – including “stop the provocations,”  “we are deeply concerned,” and the ever famous “I strongly condemn their reckless actions.”  Nations with adults running their governments understand that these statements mean nothing.   Obama set himself up as the middle school Social Worker who speaks well, but really doesn’t understand what life is like in the hallways between classes.

4.  Increasing interest in making decisions while overestimating own abilities – Akin to #5 above, the Obama administration places great faith in its ability to change hearts and minds.  Obama believes that changing hearts and minds is possible with words.  Adults understand that changing hearts and minds is a result of action taken or not taken.  the North Koreans recently dispatched a ship suspected of carrying missile and banned weaponry from Pyongyang.  Obama is now compelled to take some kind of action lest His words go forever ignored.  Unfortunately, Obama cannot order boarding of the vessel because of the UN sanction He Himself approved of.  The Chosen One will be forced to wait for the ship to make a refueling call and convince the host government that the US Navy should have a look on board.  Of course the host country doesn’t want to be in the cross-hairs of a Taepodong II missile, so Obama will really have his work cut out to either convince the host nation to allow a US inspection, or convince US voters that stopping North Korea shipping of weapons and nuclear material really isn’t that important.

3.  Objecting more often to limitations on conduct, resulting in higher levels of conflict - Being restrained by authority is something lefties really hate.  Like a child being told that he can’t have the car on Friday night because he hasn’t cut the grass seem makes no sense to the adolescent because use of the car and cutting the grass seem to be unrelated issues.  The concept of consequence doesn’t apply in the liberal or adolescent mind.   Liberals really fight limitations on spending.  After all, Democrat vote buying schemes are much easier to finance when taxpayer dollars are used. 

2.  Having limited ability to extend logic to abstract concepts – This is an elementary feature of the liberal/adolescent mind.  Particularly when policies have been tried in the past and have been proven to be failures, liberals and early teen agers have no problem making the same mistakes multiple times.  Inflation – the single biggest threat to the American middle class – is a direct result of government overspending.  Jimmy Carter ignited the Reagan Revolution because he failed to understand the relationship between borrowing, debt and unemployment – which fortunately led directly to his own unemployment.  Democrats are in power now, but when the Stimulus inflation ignites a fresh wave of inflation, look for the lefties to take it on the chin in 2010 and still wonder why. 

1. Thinking abilities are practiced in increased use of arguments or “talking back.”  For a generation of liberal voters reliant on Leno and Letterman for meaningful insight, the current generation of liberals has fallen back on the use of diatribe instead of discourse.  Discourse implies a willingness of all parties to be convinced of a given point of view based on evidence.  Diatribe is performance-based without regard to matters of evidence.  Obama and his supporters – like most middle school aged children – believe their eloquence and performance abilities overrule any evidence requirement.  (CNN and Chris Mathew’s leg also believe this.)   This explains why the President or his staff won’t tolerate challenging questions.  It also explains why reporters rarely present them.

Technorati Tags: Democrat Adolescense, Political Humor

Political Humor – Reasons Democrats are Clinically Depressed

Even fresh off a significant election sweep last November which enables them to effectively ruin the country, Democrats are appearing a little unnerved at the prospect of enacting their cherished agenda.  After working so hard to demonize all things conservative, Democrats are unsure how to actually implement their leftist agenda.  It seems that Democrats are really good at campaigning and complaining, but are a little short on ability to produce results.

Closing the Guantanamo detention facility was to be a celebrated milestone of the liberal left as that hated symbol of American Imperialism was to be closed.  It then dawned on the administration that something would have to be done with the trained killers housed there.  Voters didn’t want them in their neighborhoods, so the President shipped a few of them off to vacation paradise in Bermuda.  Unemployed construction workers in Ohio then wanted to know when they could expect their government funded Bermuda vacation.  What was supposed to be an early achievement morphed into a humiliating spectacle. The nation and the world laughed (except of course the British and residents of Bermuda).

Taking over major companies such as General Motors was supposed to be another crowning achievement.  Even after the promise of full US government support, it is still unclear who in possession of his mental faculties, would purchase an automobile from a government-run company.  People purchase postage stamps from the government, but citizens only expect a few cents worth of value.  People wouldn’t buy cars from the post office and won’t purchase automobiles from the Obama administration.  Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm proposed government tax incentives to compel buyers to purchase new automobiles.  At least the Governor understands that the public won’t buy an Obamacar except under duress.

This week, ruining the American health care system has taken over the front pages.  Even some Democrats (the ones that can add and subtract) are having second thoughts about enacting Obama’s single payer overhaul of medical insurance industry.  After being chastised for not even reading the Stimulus bill before approving it, Democrats looked through the first few pages of this monstrosity and even they are depressed over the cost.  When a Democrat gets depressed about spending other people’s money, the situation is horrible.

Democrats are indeed depressed and for anyone that has spent any amount of time with one, they understand that Democrats are also depressing to be around.  Democrats very much enjoy spreading misery.  At least they are good at something.

Confirming depression in Democrats is easy enough.  Below are the warning signs of depression and examples of how Democrats exhibit these traits.  What can be done about it?  Well… unemployment in 2010 is a good start.

Becoming emotional or upset for no particular reason – Barney Frank is perhaps the single best example.  When confronted by reporters about his complicity in the allowing Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae to go bankrupt under his oversight, Frank melted down into a name calling tirade.  Like the child caught with his hand in the cookie jar, Frank just denied that he had done anything wrong.  He then proceeded to rant about those that were out to get him.   Usually a hug works wonders for people that get emotional for no reason.   Use this with discretion.

Shortness of temper, or irritability – California’s Barbara Boxer insisted on being addressed as “Senator” Thursday morning when Brigadier General Michael Walsh used the military standard address of “Ma’am” in addressing Ms. Boxer.  Irritability and childish corrections are another hallmark of depression – especially when they are pointless references to meaningless issues.  But then again, without pointless references to meaningless issues the California Senatorial delegation would have nothing to say.

Feeling hopeless and helpless – The real reason Obama’s Hope and Change message was so effective was that He made the leftist minions believe that Hope was on the way.  Unfortunately, change requires effort and Democrats are woefully unsuited for anything resembling hard work.  As the ruling class, Democrats view work as something that lesser people do.   The Guantanamo closure is a prime example.   Democrats wanted it closed, declared that it should be done, but had no clue how to go about it other than sending a couple trained killers to Bermuda.  (And boy are the Brits happy about that.)

Inability to control negative thoughts – As the health care debate heats up, Democrats will be hard pressed to point to how the program will work or how it will be paid for.  Democrats have never been questioned on details of the plan and are already developing significant negative thoughts on the issue – especially regarding the cost/benefit analysis.  Try as they might, they can’t make the arithmetic work differently and even CNN can’t make the effort seem logical.  If CNN can’t cover for them, Democrats are exposed and vulnerable.  When this reality invades the mind of a Democrat, he/she is quickly reduced to blaming others for failing to fix the problem they have no idea how to solve.

Inability to experience pleasure – in what should have been a remarkable celebration of their landslide victories in November, Democrats have squandered public support and are already trying to spin blame for all of America’s faults.   Elections in 2010 have caused Congressional leftists to prepare a defense against charges of fiscal mismanagement.  Perhaps the prospect of unemployment next year preoccupies Democrats up for re-election.

Increased isolation – Democrats from red states or red districts were originally hailed as proof that the GOP was headed for history’s trash heap.  These Democrats seem to like being employed though, and are trying to figure out a way to distance themselves from the northeastern liberal establishment that is spending the country into unbelievable debt.   Now, these unfortunate political refugees cannot find sanctuary in either the GOP or liberal camps.

Missing deadlines or a drop in standards – The President wants quick action.  The legion of lefties is pushing through the nomination of Supreme Lefty Sonja Sotomayor and is pushing hard on legislation to ruin American health care. Democrats are dragging their feet on the health care legislation though, correctly fearing that passage of such a bill will hurt re-election chances.   They will almost certainly miss Obama’s August deadline.  As far as a drop in standards, Democrats simply cannot sink any lower.

Change in personality – Changing one’s personality is actually a requirement for Democrat candidates.  Positioning themselves as fiscal conservatives for the folks back home and then overrunning the country’s bank account once elected is standard procedure.  Look for Democrats to begin their transformation early this election cycle though, as problems such as unemployment will focus public attention on how those in power have made the situation worse.  And with no George W. Bush around, the finger of blame will point right back at the Democrats in Congress. 

Technorati Tags: Democrat Depression, Political Humor

Political Humor – July 4 Tea Party Preparation

Note:  help an Obama economic refugee by bookmarking this site!  Also check out:

• ABC’s New Prime Time program lineup after Obama’s takeover
• California Screaming - The Movie
• This Week’s Ten Lame Administration Statements

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Following on the heels of the highly successful Tea (Taxed Enough Already) Parties, conservatives are again gearing up for a larger national set of Tea Party demonstrations set for July 4.   CBS and CNN are of course preparing to ignore it.

After working so hard to extort more income from working Americans, Democrats will be on vacation that holiday weekend resting up for the next round of spending.   The effort to spend trillions of dollars to ruin American health care will be front and center over the next two weeks which should give CNN and MSNBC plenty to cover up.  The execs at CBS are praying for a natural disaster of some sort to provide an excuse for not covering either the incredible cost of the health care takeover or the Tea Party demonstrations. 

Conservatives must build on the experience of last spring’s Tea Party events to be better ready to handle challenges this time around.   Two weeks will pass quickly, so participants should get started now by assembling Tea Party preparedness kits.   The purpose of the Tea Party kit is to have all necessary equipment ready to:

·    show the family a good time on July 4,
·    send a message about over taxation that the politicians can’t ignore,
·    enrage as many of your leftist friends as possible, and
·    enlarge your family’s carbon footprint.

Of course the real challenge is to convince the local news media to cover the event fairly.  If they can even be coerced to attend, local media will be playing its ‘B’ team over the holiday weekend, so this may present some opportunities.  Reporters who haven’t quite made it to the late evening newscast may see their opportunity to make the big time by demonstrating their leftist leanings out in the open or by actually covering the story. 

No matter what the news media will try, conservatives need to be prepared.  The following is a list of top ten items to include with your Tea Party Preparedness Kit. 

10.  Flags – The Stars and Stripes need to be flown wherever possible this Independence Day.  Leftists never understand the attachment to a symbol of American freedom and courage.  As Obama plans to transform this day into ‘Dependence Day,’ a few reminders about original intent seem appropriate.  Should liberals ask why you need to make such a show of your patriotism, tell them you will answer if they can find all 57 stars for each state Obama visited during the campaign.

9.  T-Shirts – A particularly useful one that makes fun of the red and blue Obama ‘Hope’ posters will attract media attention.  Practice Obama’s far off and distant, visionary look for that moment when television cameras point your way.   Look off into the distance and then laugh.  Lefties hate being laughed at. 

8.  Cell phones - Bring a list of the media offices to contact from the steps of the state capitol or whatever venue is appropriate.  Should you not see a particular news station present, call ‘em!  As the press release for the local Tea Party will have long since been thrown away, these members of the leftist intelligentsia will need reminding. 

7.  Video recorders - It is highly important to record TV interviews with participants.  Television and radio editors will do everything possible to make participants look foolish, so an honest recording of the event is necessary.   Should the local “Live at 5” crowd try to present the interview as a slap at conservatives, we’ll post the real video as a rebuttal.  Keeping reporters honest requires filming them in their work.  Like the Chicago CNN reporter that tried to embarrass Tea Party participants earlier this year, a home video of the event just made her look foolish.

6.  Good picnic – preferably the traditional fried chicken – Meatless and gutless leftists express displeasure when humans consume meat products, so fry up a couple cluckers using Grandma’s recipe and consume loudly.  Also bring paper and plastic plates and picnic goods.  Expanding your family’s carbon footprint is a decent slap at ignorant Al Gore followers.
 
5.  Water – Bottled in plastic convenience containers that are easily thrown away when liquid is consumed, water should be brought to the venue as one can be sure that the local liberal establishment won’t provide water and bathrooms like they did for the KKK rally.  The slogan “forever in a landfill” is appropriate here because that is what should become of the Stimulus bill (not to mention the health care takeover).

4.  Parking money – The remarkable degree of civility that marked the previous Tea Party events was measured in the organized fashion in which participants paid their parking fees.  Patiently queuing up in an organized line without any government official telling them to do so testifies to conservatives’ ability to govern themselves.  Liberals seem to need a government hack overseeing their every move.  They also need ACORN members telling them where to park.

3.  Air horns – These are particularly useful for upsetting counter protesters, ACORN members and ‘Citizen Journalists’  from the Huffington Post.  Expect disgruntled leftists (the ones without hangovers) to be in attendance this time.  Should they start to drown out speakers, participants should take a moment and have everyone blast their air horns at ‘em all at once.    Liberals are good only at disrupting others.  Conservatives must be prepared to respond.  Besides.. it feels really good to - for once - be louder than a lefty.

2.  Kids – they are getting the bill from Obama, so they may as well attend the picnic. 

1.  Friends! – This is the big item everyone must remember.  One can’t rely on the media for an accurate headcount for an event that has anti-Obama overtones.  The only way to make an impression is to show up with too many people for the area to handle.  

See you there July 4th!

Technorati Tags: Political Humor, Tea Party

Political Humor – Taking Over ABC Prime Time

While media watchdogs are getting spun up over the planned ABC Health Care infomercial delivered from the White House Blue Room next Wednesday, the administration is quietly developing plans to completely take over the rest of ABC’s prime time line-up.   Given some of the recent ratings troubles, the network seems all too anxious to give itself up to the President’s management team.  Obama’s unique ability to maintain high approval ratings while his programs and proposals are failing the public acceptance test is a skill that the programming gurus would like to duplicate. 

Other networks are anxiously watching.   Should Obama succeed in driving ABC ratings up, theirs could be the next networks targeted for federal takeover.  Even if the General Motors and Banking takeovers proved to be financial disasters, NBC and CBS have such horrible ratings that a takeover might be a step in the right direction.

President Obama has enjoyed tremendous success by building upon his personal image appeal to in turn build political support.  Team Obama’s plans for ABC are then to interject struggling administration figures into the prime time line up to show their human sides.  Ultimately, the theory goes that this should translate into additional political support in the Obama drive to completely take over free enterprise in America.

The Obama team also views the takeover as an opportunity to showcase the abilities of some of its lesser-known cabinet officers and allies.  Obama believes that the public needs to know the names and duties of these cabinet secretaries in order to blame them should future problems arise.

The top ten ABC shows then slated for initial take over include:

10. Life on Mars – Although not taking place on the red planet, this series stars Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner  who after testifying before Congress, falls down the Capitol steps and is mysteriously transported back to the year 1976.  Working in the Carter administration, Geithner uses his skill to help Carter ruin the economy and ignite the Reagan Revolution.
 
9.  Extreme Makeover Home Edition – Charged with providing each American an affordable place to live, HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius not only must contend with making over homes, but must make over entire neighborhoods.  This program offers a more dramatic storyline as Sebelius is challenged to extort necessary resources to provide housing for Obama voters.  With her allies at ACORN, the former Kansas Governor rallies support from those that have difficulty holding jobs to provide them with a superior standard of living.

8.  Brothers and Sisters – Another dramatic effort stars Labor Secretary Hilda Solis (who?).  Solis is sent to provide an intervention for a modern California family pushed to the breaking point by the bankruptcy of its state government.  Evil conservatives convinced voters to greedily keep their hard-earned money, caused a tear in the state’s social fabric as well as in the family’s internal relationships.   Solis returns to her native California to show workers that additional government services will be paid for by rich residents.  Unfortunately, the rich residents upon which Solis depends for revenue are either broke themselves or have left the state.  Ever the antagonists, the California GOP attempts to thwart her every move.

7.  Ugly Betty – Moving this storyline from the New York fashion scene to the Washington DC news gathering arena, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs guides young as well as old (some really old) investigative journalists through the minefield that is career transformation.  Growing journalists from inquisitive and challenging professionals into uncurious liberal cheerleaders is Gibbs’ main objective.  The Secretary’s ‘Family Guy’ persona and endless, mindless diatribes eventually numb the minds of even the most hardened member of the DC press ‘corpse.’  

6.  Dancing with the Stars – To be renamed Dancing with the Cars, the Obama administration picked Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm to star in a series promoting the value of General Motors vehicles.  Granholm takes on the herculean task of selling cars that consumers don’t want.  Proposing everything from a clunker buy-back program to tax rebates for new GM purchases, Granholm confronts powerful voters and convinces them that paying trillions of dollars to keep the UAW in place is good for individual citizens – even though the automobiles they build won’t work past 2012. 

5.  Super Nanny – Starring Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, the new Super Nanny series hunts down the worst of the country’s vigilante groups.  Taking on the bad guys at the VFW, Club for Growth and other evil conservative minded organizations, Napolitano faces down opposition with the wit and charm for which she is (un)known. 

4.  Lost – US Representative Barney Frank anchors the cast of the revamped program showcasing politicians who should have retired years ago.  The Obama administration and House Democrats convinced Frank to take the role by offering him chairmanship of the House Financial Services Committee.  It didn’t dawn on Frank until later that he already held that position.  “Lost” tells the stories of Congressional Democrats that the Obama administration believes could become a liability in the future.

3.  Grey’s Anatomy – The classic hospital drama is enhanced with the addition of little known Budget Director Peter Orszag with cameo appearances by Tim Geithner and Lindsay Lohan.  The cast confronts the cost of health care by proposing a government takeover – which only makes matters worse.  Cheered on by the lawyers lobby, Orszag works to find a solution where no one has to pay for treatment or for huge malpractice awards.  The season-ending mystery is where Orszag will find anyone willing to practice medicine.

2.  Dirty, Sexy Money – The Obama administration hopes to rehabilitate former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer with a leading role in this dysfunctional family drama.  Wait.. this isn’t fiction.  ABC cameras just shoot the former Governor’s daily activities and get a pretty good show. 

1.  The Bachelor – Changing the theme and format somewhat, the new series stars Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. The former first lady is in constant pursuit of the folks that treat her husband as ‘The Bachelor.’  The New Bachelor version is a never-ending chase thriller showing Clinton’s tireless pursuit of her husband’s female companions between trips to North Korea.  Clinton shows how the modern, liberated woman can take on a professional leadership career and still put up with a lying cheat of a husband.

Technorati Tags: ABC, Political Humor

Political Humor - Top Ten Policy Boomerangs

Author’s Note:  Irony and Humor are frequently exchanged for one another in the Political Humor world.  Humor is generally considered the ‘laugh out loud’ type of prose and Irony is a more pensive expression.   It is difficult to make inflation and unemployment truly ‘funny’ so the following piece falls more into the political irony category.

One of the most rewarding things about Political Humor is observing the well-intended program and policy initiatives that boomerang to politically decapitate the one who threw it.   Several issues arose this week as a result of Obama administration initiatives that may do more to damage to each situation it was intended to help.  Even though much of the country believes that Obama is God, some in the administration are no longer quite so confident. 

Policy boomerangs aren’t things that just go badly on their own.  These are ill-conceived proposals and actions that produce an obviously negative result.  Once voters discover the dark side of the initiative –such as the cost or the ultimate impact, they frequently throw the policy back in the face of the originator.

Like Chicago Cubs fans that throw home-run balls from opposing teams back onto the field, voters eventually figure out what policies have hurt them.  Even CNN can’t cover for a Cubs pitcher serving up a hanging curve that winds up in the right field seats at Wrigley.

As we kick off another week of Obama “Hope and Change,” we should be mindful of the top ten  ‘boomerang’ policies that have some in the administration quietly looking for a foxhole.

10.  General Motors –GM’s potential for future success is inversely related to the degree of federal government involvement.  It has dawned on some in the administration that by spending billions on GM, it is the government participation in the auto market that is killing the business.  Customers won’t voluntarily buy an Obamacar and investors won’t put money into a government company.  So after committing to another $50 billion in taxpayer funding, General Motors may well wind up unsalvageable.  Had Obama stayed out and let bankruptcy work the way it was intended, the company would have had a fighting chance.  This boomerang not only cost a great deal of money, but threatens to ultimately kill the company it was intended to rescue.

9.  Guantanamo – Efforts to close the prison this past week resulted in a really nice Bermuda vacation for a few ‘battlefield detainees.’  In showing that the administration convinced other nations to take these murderers, Obama paid off Bermuda to take a few of them.  The prisoners wound up in a fully furnished guest house.  Northeastern workers who have been unemployed since November are now wondering why they don’t get a Bermuda vacation at taxpayer expense.  (Because they probably voted for Obama, they don’t deserve one, but still…)  Local Bermuda islanders are also upset at their own government for participating in the deal.  Bermuda residents don’t want trained killers in their neighborhoods any more than Nancy Pelosi does.  This boomerang broke into two pieces and is coming right back at both sets of governments.

8.   Interest Rates – The cost of borrowing money for business growth is greatly influenced by the government competition for funds.  As Obama competes on world markets for capital to support Stimulus spending, interest rates will increase.  Borrowing becomes more difficult and the increased cost shuts off much of the jobs recovery.  The Stimulus spending that was supposed to “get business moving again” now threatens to choke off the flow of capital business needs to get moving again. 

7.  Iran – Obama’s early initiative to reach out to the human freak-show running Iran’s government may also backfire.  Obama attempted to engage Ahmadinejad and achieved nothing.  The lunatic Iranian leader gained ground with hard liners by ‘standing up against America.’  Obama’s overture gave the Iranian something specific to reject and thus improved his position with Muslim radicals.  The Mullahs owe Obama a thank you card.

6.  Czars - Intended to be an end run around Congressional oversight, the appointment of Czar’s concerns even Democrat Robert Byrd.  In appointing a pay Czar, Obama served notice to successful workers that they are under surveillance by the federal government – which will hold their salaries up for public scrutiny.   The constitution provides the President exacty zero authority to enforce any salary policy except by holding ‘overpaid’ execs up for public ridicule.  This irony becomes more interesting as many of these northeast execs gave money to Democrat and to the Obama campaigns.   Obama will no doubt double check his donor lists before making an individual’s salary public.  (He may use the same team that chose which Chrysler dealerships to close.)

5.  North Korea – Just talking makes Obama appear weak and foolish.  When He sends Hillary Clinton to do the talking, the hilarity continues.   Calling upon North Korea to stop its ‘provocative actions,’ Obama’s Secretary of State Hillary Clinton confronted a despotic regime by taking up air time.  The United Nations went along with another in a long string of “strongly worded condemnations” following the DPRK’s latest missile test.  The UN then agreed to allow stopping North Korean vessels on the high seas, but of course China warned against the use of any force.  The President actually has to take action if his words are to mean anything in the future.  Had Obama pursued a stronger effort with China by threatening to arm Japan and South Korea with more – shall we say – effective weaponry, the Chinese may have been more willing to assist.  Too late for that now.  The DPRK sent Obama’s foreign policy spinning right back at the Chosen One’s noggin.

4.  Unemployment – The only possible way to speed jobs growth is to decrease government competition for capital in world capital markets.  This lowers the costs of borrowing money for growth.  By committing the nation to an outrageous spending and borrowing plan, American companies are reluctant to hire.   The economy is still throwing off hundreds of thousands of jobs each week – even though the recession has passed its 18 month point.  (18 months is the average length of a recession.) Obama’s spending has already extended the recession and those that are looking for work may fill some time by volunteering a few hours for local Republican candidates.  Obama’s efforts at solving unemployment have caused the GOP’s volunteer ranks to significantly increase.

3.  Health Care – Like the federal intervention in General Motors, government participation in health care will ruin the industry.  The well-documented physician shortage will be compounded – perhaps catastrophically – by administration attempts to take over the industry via its public insurance system.  When all physicians are dependent on the federal government for insurance claim payment, few young and bright students will enter the profession.  Remaining docs will be fully dependent on the government for payment. What ambitious young person would put her or his career in the hands of Barack Obama and Congressional Democrats?  By attempting to provide health care for the uninsured, Obama will ensure that good health care is much less available to all.

2.  Taxes – Of course Obama’s big lie to the country is that the middle classes are receiving a tax cut.  While the IRS may have issued a tax rate cut to certain middle income taxpayers, Team Obama increased costs elsewhere.  Increasing taxes on medical benefits will drive down the paycheck of each American worker and slow future job growth.  The public school teachers unions ensured that the current population of voters is relatively economically ignorant, but each worker does have a solid ability to understand that a tax on medical benefits is a tax on him.  Taxing workers more is a bad for job security – particularly for keeping one’s job as President.

1.  Inflation – Corresponding with Stimulus spending, inflation is Obama’s huge tax increase on the middle class.   By printing the Stimulus money He cannot borrow from China, Obama makes each dollar worth less tomorrow than the one earned today.  Middle classes, who thought they were getting a tax cut, will be paying more and more for common goods.   Obama would do well to study a little history; the inflation boomerang took the political head of Jimmy Carter.

Technorati Tags: Political Humor, Top Ten

Political Humor – California Screaming; The Movie

This film not yet rated

Genre:  Surreal Horror
Theatrical Release:  July 4, 2009
Starring:  Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Governator, other cast have asked for their names to be withheld
Director:  Rob Reiner
Expected Cost:  untold billions

Summary:
Hollywood announced this week a release date for the newest disaster megafilm starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.   California Screaming is a modern horror story largely void of heroes, set in the Golden State.  Facing complete economic catastrophe, Schwarzenegger reprises his role as state Governor to face down the litany of problems a citizenry has created for itself, including:

·    Budget shortfall of over $24 billion
·    Only 50 days from catastrophe before the State is completely out of money
·    Revenues falling nearly 18% over the prior year
·    Expected revenues $800M short of expectation

Synopsis:
This film and story are complete disasters.  Impossible circumstances conspire to deliver the most outrageous set of human-created challenges occurring at precisely the most inopportune moment.  The situation is compounded by Californians’ sudden and unexplained unwillingness to fork over larger chunks of their earnings.  Putting trophy social programs at risk, the many governmental characters insist that population knows not what it is doing.  The Governator and the Legislature are pitted against the population as well as against one another. 

State congressional leaders are out of ideas.  Each tax increase proposal meets resounding defeat, leaving the once vaunted, socially responsible leadership without any tools to continue building utopia on the world’s most beautiful coast.  Trying to be the voice of reason, Schwarzenegger fails in his attempts to find a middle ground between new taxation and spending cuts.    A poignant moment occurs when the Governator laments taking the job on the Jay Leno Show.

Although the film is without a clear protagonist, there are multiple bad guys, leaving the audience feeling helpless as the storyline spirals downward.    State revenues from personal income taxes decline by nearly 40% percent.  Revenues from corporate taxes fall by over 50% percent and revenues from sales taxes sink by over 7 percent.

Assembly Speaker Karen Bass describes one reconciliation plan as having “something for everyone to hate.”  It provides something for every audience member to hate as well.  The film is a tragedy of errors when former adversaries try to come together on a plan to solve the crisis but are confronted with a public unwilling to participate in the reconciliation.

As the state is confronted with difficult choices including scrapping the prized welfare programs or dumping benefits to illegal aliens, a climax is reached as the July 4 holiday approaches when California faces a drop-dead date.  At that point, CA will be completely out of money.   Schwarzenegger, on a last gasp effort, contacts the President for help because he is unwilling to undertake the difficult duty for which he was hired.  The President, well… viewers will have to find that out on release day.

The complexity of the storyline is made difficult to understand because of the extreme simplicity of the solution.  All could have been avoided had sanity prevailed earlier in the decade before spending was allowed to spiral out of control.  Director Rob Reiner fails to insert the responsibility message preferring to develop the tragic leadership characters of those that have found themselves in now unwanted political roles. 

Painfully missing is the usual assignment of responsibility for the troubles.  Political leaders are reluctant to confront voters with the fact that demand for excessive services and benefits combined with an unwillingness to pay has lead their state to the brink.  Voters believe they were hoodwinked into believing they could have these services and benefits and compel someone else to bear the cost.  Deceit and mistrust runs through every on-screen relationship.  California Screaming wants for a single adult role; an adult to just say ‘no’ to the clowns that are more interested in re-election than in problem resolution.  But maybe this is just California in microcosm.

The film attempts to reconcile combatants.  Moments of introspection appear as the Governator confronts state congressional leaders with proof of their past misdeeds while admitting his own faults.  These fail to provide any direction to the story.  Sadly, when the Governator’s efforts turn up some good will but no results and both sides slip back into posturing that originally contributed to the problem. 

Ultimately, the film takes a circular route back to its starting point – no resolution, just characters campaigning  for support from a public that has long since given up.  Completing the tragedy, the public ultimately rejects its own role in the disaster.  Breaking the cycle requires a brave hero (restate the need for a truly adult character) to throw himself or herself on the sword of electoral defeat to do the right thing and lead the charge to severely cut programs.   

‘California Screaming’ at least is an apt title.  The circular storyline is predictable and awaits a hero from outside to bail the state and its people out of the trouble.  The film leaves hanging the childish dream that the President or some benevolent force will recognize the people’s agony and intervene with money from heaven and an admonition to work together in the future. 

The film opens – tragically- around July 4.  Will California realize independence or sink to new levels of dependency.  You may be buying a ticket to this disaster whether you choose to or not.

For more Political Humor, wit and wisdom, take a look at:

• The Health Care Scare
• Closing the Boston Globe
• What Would Biden Say?
• Chrysler Fire Sale
• Inflation - Where Reality Impacts Rhetoric
• General Motors in 2012
• Childproofing North Korea
• Creative Taxation
• Top Ten Occupations for Released Terrorists

Technorati Tags: California Budget Crisis, Political Humor