First Conservative - Political Humor and Obamatudes

Hello, Everyone!

Would like to invite you all to visit the new web site for First Conservative.

The actual web address is: http://www.conservativeblog.thewebinfocenter.com/  We won’t be setting any redirects at this point, as people are still hitting our old articles.   Some of these archived pieces have been updated at the new site.  The lefties in the Federal Government have proven even more comical than first imagined.  Unfortunately, these could all be very expensive laughs.  So stay tuned for more fun laughing at the lefties!

Join us at the new address!  We look forward to hearing from you!

The First Conservative Team.

Political Humor - Top Ten List of “No’s”

Democrats have made a key strategic error in painting their opposition as the party of ‘No.’ There really are some ‘No’s that the public wants, such as ‘No’ Inflation, ‘No’ unemployment, ‘No’ high interest rates.   This trifecta buried Jimmy Carter in 1980.  It is now staring the current President in the face.  The only problem for the country is that Barack Obama is Jimmy Carter on steroids.

After Obama’s launch of the most ambitious Presidency since FDR, the party of ‘No’ is looking better and better.  While refusing to take responsibility for extending the current recession, President Obama ignited a monumental spending spree with no idea how to pay for it.  Like closing Guantanamo detention center where the decision was taken without a plan for execution, the President now has to come up with one and reality is setting in.  Even university economists are now predicting rapid inflation once His spending hits high gear in 2010, and – gee whiz what a surprise – voters apparently don’t want trained killers from Guantanamo in their homeland, so the federal government is buying off folks in Bermuda so we can dump them there.

Carter’s foreign policy ineptitude may also be overshadowed by that of the current President – and perhaps with even more catastrophic results.  Soon to embark on an Apology Tour to the middle-east, the President will re-promote the idea of a two-state solution to the Arab-Israeli conflict.  Only the radical Islamists are thinking that the two states involved will be Iran and Iran.  Jimmy Carter had some success in middle-east peace.  The only problem was that one of the participants in that process wound up on the receiving end of some significant Islamic ‘ill-will.’   Obama will have to do much more than rely on his magnificent oratorical skill and a working teleprompter to achieve a meaningful result.  And while Obama talks, Iran builds nuclear weapons.

After watching the current President kick-off his term by extending the recession and endangering the lives of Americans as well of those of America’s allies, the prospects for the ‘party of No’ are improving. The duty of an opposition party is to –of course – say ‘No.’ Liberals in the media ridicule the strategy as out of synch with the mood of the country.  On many issues, saying ‘no’ is just what adult Americans want.

Below is the current Top Ten list of items Americans want somebody in government to say just say “no” to:

10.  Guantanamo Prisoners moving to the US – Obamamaniacs believed that because “He won” the election, that He could do what he wanted.  Supporters of the President mistook an election win for an appointment to the throne.   (The media have a problem with this distinction as well.)  His plan to move trained murderers from where they are safely held at Guantanamo Naval Base to locations in the United States has sparked an outcry of opposition – even from Democrats.  Americans want someone in a position of authority to say ‘no.’ Moving the prisoners onto US soil ensures that at least one liberal judge will find a reason to release some of these lunatics onto the street.   The unbelievable surprise to all this is that Team Obama was surprised at the level of resistance. 

9.  Unemployment – Instituting an economic policy requiring expansion of the money supply will necessarily extend inflation and thereby unemployment.  Although economists that work for universities disagree, those economists that have real jobs understand that companies will resist hiring until the economy – including inflation – stabilizes.  By over spending and over borrowing, Obama will produce the opposite result of what he intends.  The party of ‘no’ needs to step in and stop the over spending and over borrowing.  They would be a fabulous campaign issue in 2010 and beyond.

8.  Auto takeover – President Obama proved his worth as a CEO by driving two major US Corporations into bankruptcy – perhaps never to emerge.  In fulfilling a campaign promise to his Union thug supporters, Obama intervened to take over Chrysler and GM, only to find that this was real work.  (Democrats hate real work and few have experience at it.)  Paying so many UAW members for not working is un-American.  Americans want someone to say ‘no.’  

7.    Opening borders – Schools, social services and medical institutions are overwhelmed by demand from persons here without permission.  Americans are simply tired of paying for services to people who arrived illegally.  Although the Bush administration had some trouble understanding this, American voters burned down the Senate telephone system during the last immigration debate and the GOP finally got the message.  Most of those in the GOP that didn’t are now on the unemployment line with the rest of us.

6.  Prosecution of interrogators – Democrats automatically prosecute those in government that achieve results.  After 9/11, the federal government focused on protecting the country as they were sworn to.  They achieved their objective.   Now, leftists want to prosecute those that achieved such wonderful results.  After all, Democrats can’t have a government without a crisis to escalate.

5.  Nancy Pelosi – A surprise addition to the Top Ten list, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was such an embarrassment last month, that key Democrats are looking to throw her under the bus.  The issue centers on whether or not Pelosi knew of the enhanced interrogation methods used by the CIA to protect America after 9/11.  It is clear now that she did know.  She pitifully tried to deny this in a widely covered press conference where some in the media actually asked challenging questions.  The GOP is sitting on the sidelines except to point out that the Speaker has no problem lying in public.  Pelosi’s real problem is with the lunatics in San Francisco that were shocked to learn that she knew of the ‘waterboarding’ process and raised no objection to it.  The hypocrisy of railing against ‘torture’ while she was an accomplice to these treatments won’t find support in the heartland.  The Pelosi solution to the entire episode is to just declare the issue ‘closed.’  CNN seems happy with this.

4.  The Deficit – One of the key economic disasters staring at Obama across the Oval Office desk, the deficit will prove one of His biggest problems primarily because these are bills that have to be paid.  Team Obama has no problem spending or extorting money from those it doesn’t agree with.  There just isn’t enough money to extort and still pay off all His bills.  Once again, the party of “no” is being called on to show some adult level leadership and stop Him from handing off such huge bills to US taxpayers.

3.  Spending – Of course the core problem with the deficit is spending.  Researching the habitat of field mice or guppies might be interesting but it is not going to provide the kind of jobs that will sustain an economy.  Spending on ridiculous programs must be stopped if the public is to have any prospect for a growing economy.  Americans understand that a growing economy is the ONLY avenue to upward mobility for its citizens.  Obama is establishing a European caste system to replace America’s system where ambition and production are rewarded.

2.  Cap and Trade – As payoff to his environmental supporters, the President is pushing a Cap and Trade system to restrict the ability of energy companies to produce enough fuel and energy to keep America warm next winter.  Interestingly, liberal voters in New England looked at their heating bills and determined that they are already paying enough to heat their homes.  The GOP needs to lead the charge to kill Cap and Trade.  They should find enough northern Democrats in the House and Senate that don’t want to wind up unemployed, to join them in saying ‘no.’

1.  Health Care –Obama approached health care takeover in the same fashion that He approached closing Guantanamo – with no plan and no idea how it would actually work.  An Obama takeover of health care would have the same positive result as the takeover of General Motors.  While the costs of health care have steadily increased, Team Obama has ignored the two main reasons – shortage of delivery options and increased costs to insure health care practitioners.  Without reining in the legal costs of delivering health care and without increasing the supply of practitioners, costs will only increase. Even University economists understand this.    Team Obama has determined that they want to provide free health care for all Americans.  They have no idea how much ‘free’ will cost.  The GOP needs to say ‘no’ to this disaster as well.

Political Humor - Ten Qualifications for Supreme Court Nominees

Now that President Obama has nominated the first Hispanic to the Supreme Court, investigation into her past rulings has begun.   Timed to overshadow North Korea’s threat to the United States, Obama released his pick for the Supreme Court and pleaded for ‘bipartisanship’ in the approval process.  (see the Bipartisanship Trap).

Since Justice David Souter announced his intent to resign, the flurry of activity investigating the next leftist to occupy a seat on the Judiciary has begun.  It was reported that President Obama had some conversations with former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich for advice on how to handle the vacancy.

With the election of Barack Obama the country has thrown off its racist past and now looks with courage to our new Socialist future.  Creating a newer, hipper country that is more sensitive to needs of those long ignored classes is work well underway.  Judge Sotomayor is just the kind of jurist to create the laws America needs to right the wrongs of centuries past.

In Obama’s America, justice is in the eye of the beholder.  The President wanted a Justice that will use every opportunity –regardless of case law or precedent – to advance His causes.  The Justice may not use existing law to stop progress on the march to Socialism.

Accordingly, Team Obama has found a nominee who appears willing to overrule prior legal precedent and use the bench to create the utopia that Obama was elected to produce.  The candidate also seems to be ‘cool’ in the eyes of leftist voters. Judge Sotomayor apparently passed the initial set of Ten Qualifications established by the Obama administration to measure her ‘coolness’ factor.  These areas included:

10.  Has own Facebook page – A measure of popularity is important.  The successful candidate should have a facebook page with over 100 close friends; friends should include Ralph Lauren.   Facebook is necessary to maintain the elitist belief system while appearing to be a regular person.

9.  Twitters - Being popular and staying in touch with the minions for whom the Justice decides important issues is key to determining what is best for the masses.  Telling the masses what is good for them  - whether they like it or not - is part of the new job description for a Supreme Court Justice.   When one can ‘tweet’ pontifications, it leaves more time to watch PBS and CNN to hear what the President wants everyone to think.

8.  Participated in student government – While studying, it is important that the candidate have experienced the futility of working in student government.  It is an essential part of one’s life experience to have put in a lot of work on something that made very little difference.  This provides empathy for governmental positions during upcoming legal cases.

7.  Knows at least one Supremes song – Diana Ross may have been the lead singer, but it is important to understand the magic all three created together.   It is also important to understand that no one took Diana’s spotlight.  President Obama believes this analogy to be important.  Given Sotomayor’s pathetically slow speech at her introduction, she will never overshadow the President’s performance ability.

6.  Has seen “Free to Be You and Me” – The 1973 film proclaimed that little girls didn’t have to marry a prince and little boys could play with dolls if they so chose.  This was a milestone in overturning the culturally oppressive American values system.  It also featured lefty icon and vegetarian Marlo Thomas.

5.  Knows one alien; legal or otherwise – After all, no human being is illegal – they just haven’t been registered to vote.  Disenfranchised human beings have the right to provide low wage labor in exchange for registering and voting as Democrats.  This is a fundamental human right.   The successful candidate should have experience in hiring an alien and in dodging the associated payroll taxes.

4.  Has own iPod;  extra credit if it is an iPhone – Combining technologies, the iPhone and iPod merged uses to provide the ability to talk while listening to music.  Significantly, it impedes the ability to listen to others while using the iPhone.  A leftist Supreme Court Justice must never listen to others, but rely on the leftist values system to right the wrongs of the past 233 years.

3.  Is skilled at Guitar Hero – Connecting with the youth culture makes leftist indoctrination much easier.  This week, Metallica lead James Hetfield said that he believed Guitar Hero is a great gateway drug to real music.  A new Supreme Court Justice should not only understand youth culture and practice, he/she should be adept at the very things youth like to do – like pretending to perform real music.

2.   Knows where Barney Frank has takes his lunch – This is important as future cases before the bench may require a re-evaluation of leftist philosophy.  Since this can’t be done in public, the potential Justice must be prepared to visit the Oracle of Leftist Virtue at his place of feeding.  President Obama is the figurehead Oracle of Leftist Virtue, but He can’t be seen discussing ongoing cases.

1.   Has successfully dodged payment of federal taxes – Team Obama concluded that there are in fact, no Democrats who have paid all their taxes.  Turning this into an asset, Obama insiders have decided to make this a job requirement.  If a Justice can come up with a good reason why he or she didn’t pony up to Uncle Sam that would be a good precedent for other Congressional lefties when they get nailed.   A skilled legal mind would then also come up with reasoning why everyone else should follow a different set of taxation rules.

Political Humor - Top Ten Occupations for Released Terrorists

A great quote from John Boehner:  “The world did not suddenly become safe in January 2009. There are still terrorists around the world who are committed to killing Americans and destroying our way of life. A number of those terrorists are being held at the prison in Guantanamo Bay right now,” said House Minority Leader John Boehner. “If the administration is allowed to proceed, they won’t be there for long. In fact, they may be right here, in the United States.”

Conservatives have long accused Democrats of coming up with wild ideas and no way to execute them.  Like providing health care for all that the government would pay for, Democrats have no clue how to actually make something like this work.  And now that closing Guantanamo Bay Detention center has become a reality under President Obama, once again, Democrats have no idea what to do.

At its core, the Democrat party has always believed that it is the thoughtful and compassionate organization that deserves to make decisions for the nation.  As the country’s Ruling Class the Democrats’ job is just making decisions – it is the job of others to carry them out.  President Obama’s decision to shut the detention center at Guantanamo illustrates this perfectly.  Without any plan, he issued an executive order closing the base within days of his inauguration.  Believing that prisoners would somehow be distributed within the United States and treated as shoplifters instead of terrorists, Obama believed that because He ordered the base closed, the public would accept it.

Subsequently, Congressional Democrats heard from their constituents and concluded that these killers actually were bad people.  On top of that, these bad people might wind up in their districts under a jurisdiction that might one day release them.  The thought that trained mass murderers might be released onto the streets of San Francisco suddenly had Democrats’ attention.   Even a Democrat doesn’t want a trained killer in her district.

So what to do with experienced Islamic murderers?  While Democrats are waiting for someone to take them, the Obama administration staffers have been developing ideas on what to do with the Islamic terrorists should they be released.  To make them productive members of American society, they have outlined several jobs for which the terrorists might be qualified.  The top ten jobs for terrorists are:

10.  Border Patrol Assistant - Terrorists have the same philosophy on border protection as Secretary Napolitano, so they should be useful in helping out the over-stressed agents on site.

9.  ACORN Support – After receiving significant federal funding, ACORN is positioned to use the terrorists as trainers for their new role as street enforcers of Obama’s social policies.

8.  Alcatraz Tour Guides – When Nancy Pelosi resisted suggestions to place prisoners on the island, the thought occurred to staffers that given their prior prison experience, they would make useful and informed tour guides.  They would also have access to San Francisco’s vibrant social scenes.

7.  Yucca Mountain Technician – Future home to America’s atomic waste, this seemed like a natural ‘fit’ for those that have experience trying to acquire low-grade nuclear material.  

6.  Budget Cutters – Cutting the federal budget requires a radical new look at existing programs. Terrorists would be able to quickly reprioritize all budget considerations.

5.  Lawyers – Terrorists are a natural fit for any business that requires a high level of intimidation skill.

4.  IRS Auditors – Akin to becoming lawyers, using terrorists as IRS agents would significantly improve revenues to the federal government.

3.  Security at KFC stores – Restraining rioters cashing in Oprah coupons for discounted chicken lunches should be easy for guys with great big swords ready to decapitate unruly patrons.

2.  Treasury Dept. Staffer – Since Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner can’t find any Democrat who has paid his or her taxes, using terrorists as Treasury officials would allow the Obama administration to finally fill some much needed Treasury positions.

1. Interrogator – Few people have interrogation skills of Islamic terrorists.  Threats to behead prisoners would generate great quantities of useful information.  As the terrorists are not American citizens, they wouldn’t be restrained by the Uniform Code of Military Justice or by Presidential edicts against torture.

Presidential Apology Tour – Middle East Version

Saddled with the universal liberal belief that all problems may be solved by talking, the President is outlining what aides term a ‘reconciliation’ speech and call to action.  This speech is tentatively set for Cairo, Egypt the first week of June.  The Iranian leadership again expressed optimism that peace in the middle-east may be achieved – once Israel is wiped off the map. 

Sensing an opportunity to use his speechmaking skills to talk peace into the hearts of Islamic militants, the Obama team has been developing a list of reconciliation items – or things to apologize for.  Since the European and Latin American Apology Tours produced such spectacular results, Obama intends to employ the same methodology to bring peace to a region where people have hated one another for generations.  The White House theory goes that a good speech would make trained killers and terrorists ‘like’ the United States.  Terrorists would then cease fighting against the western world.  Additionally, a good speech may inspire Islamic moderates to take action against militancy and terrorism.   Interestingly, the only Islamic government actually fighting against Islamic militancy is found in Iraq.

Having lived in a bad neighborhood since inception and having been betrayed by past peace deals, Israel wants no part of an arrangement based on the Obama beliefs.  A two state solution where Israel’s neighbors remain committed to destruction of the Jewish state just doesn’t make sense to most Israelis.   Israeli leadership understood for years that it’s most staunch ally might one day try to push them in a direction they don’t want to go.  Therefore, Israelis are determined to find a way to survive on their own.  This may involve a preemptive attack on her enemies.

The President this week is expected to again threaten Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu with reductions in American support should Israel attempt to disrupt the Iranian nuclear program.  Obama wants to disrupt the Iranian nuclear program himself by dropping words on Iranian citizens.  The Israelis would like to drop something a little more substantial on the nuclear facilities themselves.

Obama is walking into this alligator pit as if he were going to church on Sunday (or whatever Sunday He actually attends).   One upside to the Obama plan is that pursuing His path towards a middle-east ‘peace’ could dramatically improve the prayer lives of most ‘citizens of the world.’

As Team Obama embarks on its middle-east peace mission, the White House staff is focusing on its top ten apology items designed to get terrorists to like America. 

10. – Israel, Generational hatred - Hatred for Israel would not mitigated by removing the Jewish state.  Islamic militants view western support for Israel as just another evil in itself.  Should Israel be destroyed that western evil would remain a target.  Obama will apologize for America’s part in creating this generational hatred – even though Israel has been the only solid ally in times of conflict that the US could rely upon. Obama seems content to trade Israel’s existence for, well… nothing.

9.  Israel, Lands held – Demanding a return to the 1967 borders, Hamas and Islamic Jihad have stated that no peace talks may begin until Israel returns all lands captured in the 1967 war for survival.  Falling into the trap, Obama has not resisted the call to return land only in exchange for talking.  Israel’s demand for recognition seems to be the main obstacle from the Obama point of view.  Obama will reveal his sorrow that former Palestinian lands are under the control of some foreign government and may publicly demand that Israel enter into negotiations with those sworn to destroy her.

8.  Israel, repatriation – In addition to returning lands held since 1967, militant calls for rights of repatriation for those displaced by Israel’s creation are reaching the Obama ears.  Palestinians would then have the right to return and do God-Knows-What to their Jewish neighbors.  Obama will express sorrow for those held in Palestinian refugee camps since 1949 – even though the hosting Arab governments have not provided support or settlement in those many years.

7.  Israel, military success – Audacity and ingenuity are hallmarks of Israeli military success.  They are a huge embarrassment to her enemies.  Apologizing for success is something Obama is particularly good at.  He is also quite good at punishing those that are successful.

6.  Israel, Lebanon – Invading Lebanon in 1982, the Israeli military was able to roll through south Lebanon to stop militant attacks originating there.  After pulling out of Lebanon to advance the cause of peace, Hezbollah and other terrorist groups resumed rocketing Israeli towns.  Seeking to avoid the embarrassment caused by her successful 1982 action, Israel again invaded in 2006 but encountered a much more difficult adversary.    Obama must apologize for not stopping these actions and should allow terrorists to fire unguided rockets wherever they choose.

5.  Israel, destroying Syrian nuclear facility – When caught developing a nuclear weapons facility, Israel again badly embarrassed her neighbor by sending in a crack team of military experts destroy the facility, apparently taking out one or two North Korean advisers in the process.  In the flash raid, Israel was able to completely annihilate the facility.  To avoid further embarrassment, Syria razed the site within a matter of days.  Obama will apologize for this action and reiterate the right of terrorist states to develop weapons of mass destruction.

4.  Israel, Intelligence – Israel’s Mossad knows what their enemies are planning well in advance of execution. The discovery of Iranian and Syrian nuclear weapons programs were a particular embarrassment.  Obama will apologize for this failed policy and will promise to share with Israel’s enemies, any information provided by the Israeli intelligence agency.  By allowing Islamic extremists to retain their pride, they are more likely to make peace over the rubble that was once the Israeli state.

3.  Israel, Yom Kippur War – Arab states thought they finally figured out a way to beat the Israelis on the battlefield back in the autumn of 1973.  A brilliantly executed surprise attack across the Suez Canal took Egyptian forces back into the Sinai desert where six years earlier, they had been driven out by an Israeli surprise attack.  The Syrians hit at Israeli postions along the Golan frontier as well.  After floundering for two days, the Israeli home-defense plan kicked into gear and (see item 7), found a weak point along a different part of the Suez Canal.  The IDF then crossed to invade part of the Egyptian homeland.  Quickly cutting off the entire Egyptian 3rd Army in the Sinai, Egypt was again forced to sue for a cease fire and wound up achieving nothing.  Israel proved that if attacked, she could defend herself and inflict additional punishment on those that would destroy her.    Obama plans to apologize for this insult, as success, audacity and leadership must never be rewarded.

2.  Israel , Camp David Peace Accords – President Jimmy Carter succeeded in bringing in a major Arab state to negotiate terms of peace with the State of Israel.  Although a fellow Democrat, Obama must apologize for this as no US President should be allowed to facilitate peace with the Jewish state. 

1.  Israel, 1967 War – the single biggest black-eye for neighboring states, the tiny state of Israel managed to fight and win a three-front war in six days.  Using fewer than 200 aging French aircraft, the horribly out-gunned Israel Air Force destroyed the entire Soviet-supplied MiG air capabilities of three countries and overwhelmed the ground forces of those nations.  (Interestingly, this was the first and only military victory in which French aviation hardware was used.  Coming on the 41st anniversary of the Six-Day War, the President will apologize for not warning Israel’s enemies – even though the US didn’t know the attack was coming either.  Obama will also talk about the importance of returning captured land so that Israel’s enemies might attack more conveniently.

Political Humor - Presidential Assault on Health Care

Sensing that national patience with His economic plans is waning, the Obama administration moved this week to accelerate plans to take over the US health care system.  Capitalizing on threats made to other industries, such as banking and auto manufacturing, leaders of the health care industry swallowed a bitter pill yesterday, promising some cost relief over the next several years.  It was either that or have their jobs cut or salaries slashed by an Obama takeover.

The effort to take over health care stems from promises made during the 2008 Presidential campaign.  Given President Obama’s ability to manage critical industries such as auto manufacturing, customers (read: patients) have a great deal to fear.  Dismantling the delivery system for health care ensures that those currently covered by paid policies will have to compete for future care with those that had no previous coverage.  

Owing to a shortage of primary care physicians and compounded by high rates of retirement among current practitioners, health care providers will be hard pressed to meet current demand – especially servicing the aging US population.  Increasing demand on the private health care system will by itself increase scarcity of service.  Government intervention in the industry ensures that health care rationing is just a Congressional approval away.

There remain other obstacles to overcome however.  Primarily, the administration is approaching health care takeover in the same fashion as it approached closing Guantanamo detention center.  Both decisions were taken during the campaign and no Democrat has any idea how to actually accomplish the objectives.  

Anticipating difficulties in convincing enough in Congress to support the move, the President’s staff developed the following list of enticements to provide Congress with enough compelling reasons to enact health care “reform” now.  Below are Team Obama’s top ten enticements for taking over the industry:

10.  Coverage for botox and face lift surgery will be included.  Nancy Pelosi insisted.

9.   Shotgun injury coverage will certainly be included – apparently to cover an escalation of the Dick Cheney, Colin Powell disagreements.

8.  Additional coverage for children’s injuries that occur during the course of each three day weekend would also be covered.  With members of the teachers unions campaigning for an additional day off each week, the potential for injury increases for school children who are not in school.

7.  Coverage for hair transplants would also be included.  Arlen Specter extracted this promise in exchange for his jump to the Democrat party.

6.   Intestinal Bypass Surgery was originally included.  Congress may strip this coverage though, apparently to help Democrats keep what ‘guts’ they currently have.

5.  Illegal Alien coverage to encourage Democrat voter registration has been promised.

4.  ACORN will be allowed to distribute special health care favors – such as lice removal - to those registering and voting as Democrats.  They will be allowed to take advantage of those services themselves.

3.  Enhanced coverage for owners of Chrysler vehicles.  With Obama’s takeover of the Detroit auto maker, those riding in government produced cars will need additional coverage.

2.  A special mental health package for congressional Democrats to help them recover from being asked a difficult question.  As Democrats are primarily performers, this coverage would be helpful in leading normal lives.

1.  Counseling and mental health for economic stress is to be included as well.  One family currently paying for its own health coverage will find itself paying for three.  Saddling those that currently pay for their own coverage with costs associated with covering those that do not participate in a health plan is bound to cause additional stress.

Conservative Resurgence

Nothing highlights failure like more failure.   The seeds of new conservative growth, planted in the manure of the 2008 election, are showing signs of life.
 
CNN as well as MSNBC understand their roles in the Obama administration.  Covering up embarrassing events such as the President trying to enter the Oval Office through a window is the new media mantra.  Unfortunately for the networks, their jobs are only going to get more difficult.  When liberalism is allowed to fail, it inevitably produces a Conservative Resurgence.

All modern conservative recoveries resulted from a disaster created by liberal administration.   Jimmy Carter deserves credit for starting the Reagan Revolution.  By driving unemployment, interest rates and inflation to double digits – and by throwing in a foreign policy embarrassment or two – a live illustration was provided regarding the results of liberal policy.  It took Reagan to clean up the economic mess – and help defeat the Soviet Union.   Without Carter to demonstrate liberalism’s logical failures, voters would cling to the utopian dream. 

In creating a liberal utopia, President Obama is ably assisted by his worshipping minions in the press and in Congress. Unfortunately for him, they will only be able to help so long – say until 2010.  By then, voters should have a good idea of what continuation of His policies will mean – increasing inflation and stagnant job growth.  Liberals in power are the greatest advocates for conservative values. 

There are many reasons for conservatives to be optimistic.  The Obama administration along with the liberal Congress will only dig themselves a deeper hole.    Conservatism will sprout from all this.  Here are the top ten reasons:

10.  Nancy Pelosi‘s War on Truth – The Speaker of the US House of Representatives forcefully denied knowing about ‘enhanced interrogation techniques’ used by the Bush administration.  Unfortunately for her, the people giving the briefings to which she was a party took very careful notes.  Democrats always want to dispute facts.  Now, Pelosi will have to either admit to being deaf or being an imbecile. 

9.  CNN/MSNBC  – When the Obama economic plan is proven to be the main driver of inflation, the networks will be revealed as makeup artists for the Obama Economic Pig – only there just isn’t enough lipstick.  CBS News made the mistake of hiring Katie Couric as their anchor, figuring that improving the entertainment value of the broadcasts would improve viewership.  The network’s real problem is credibility, not ‘cuteness.’  Accordingly, CBS News ratings are in the tank.  CNN and MSNBC may realize within the next few months that their droning cheerleading has become an embarrassment – both for the illusion of impartiality, but also for simply being wrong.  When the Obama plans fail, these networks will be called to account for failing to point out why. 

8.  ‘Lighthouse’ Harry Reid – A more boring and lifeless spokesperson for liberalism could not be found.  Harry Reid’s deal-doing in the Arlen Specter defection also left him at odds with a few Senatorial Democrats.  Still, Reid is about as boring as they come and won’t do anything to help Obama when the President gets into trouble. 

7.  Arlen Specter himself – After infuriating conservatives across the nation with his support for Obama’s Stimulus package, the Pennsylvania Senator laid himself off from the Republican Party – saving conservatives the expensive job of firing him.   Specter provided a huge fund raising advantage for a conservative Republican replacement in 2010.

6.  Guantanamo – The campaign issue that Democrats thought they won on, but that they can’t figure out how to solve, closing Guantanamo detention center has invited Americans to consider what it would mean to move trained killers onto American streets.    Even liberals understand that a US court could easily throw out charges based on legal technicality.  Good and upstanding citizens would then have brand new neighbors.  Amazingly, Congressional Democrats hear this loud and clear from the people that voted for them.  Look for the camp to remain open and for the President’s standing among the MoveOn and Huffington Post junkies to be a little less enthusiastic.

5.  Jobs – Many out of work conservatives have turned to blogging – Liberals rely on the underemployed to staff their volunteer ranks.  Now, conservatives have access to an army of people with business ‘smarts’ caused by the massive layoffs inspired by the Obama economic plan.   The second quarter of 2009 should be the turning point for the jobs issue.  Although job losses have slowed, the number of unemployed is higher than at any point since Jimmy Carter.  We all know the electoral impact Jimmy Carter’s policies had in the 1980 election.

4.  Inflation – Closely related to the Jobs issue, Inflation will be a huge anchor weight around Team Obama’s collective neck.  Their problem is that they can’t raise enough money to fund the Stimulus and budget commitments.  And when they can’t borrow money, they’ll just print it!  The Chinese and Saudis are now highly reluctant to buy American debt, so the Leader will have no option but to print most of what he needs – or pay outrageous interest rates to foreign note holders.

3.  Obama, International Relations – Ineptitude on the world stage is – even if ignored by CNN – is reported by world media.  Even the Europeans who were supposed to be so infatuated with the Leader have begun mocking him daily in London and Paris for contradictory stands.  They also mock Americans for worshiping the Leader to such a degree.  This might just be the first time in recent memory where European press makes more sense than western networks.

2.  Obama’s Worshiping Minions – Obama worshipers are embarrassing.  They embarrass their country but they especially bring light upon themselves for thoughtless acceptance of the Obama doctrines.   When His policies go bad, they won’t have anywhere to hide and will be much more difficult for Democrats to mobilize.

1.  Control – With Democrats controlling the White House and both houses of Congress, they will be completely responsible for outcomes produced.  Voters will have a clear distinction between the Democrats bent on extorting wealth from others and conservatives that believe in essential liberty and a free economy.  As good as the President is at blaming others for His mistakes, He won’t be able to escape complete responsibility for a failing economy.  His is the party in total control.

Political Humor - Top Ten Foreign Policy Disasters

President Obama, in keeping with his vow to take rapid action, has used just over 100 days to drastically damage American foreign policy as well as US defense.   Following his Apology tours to Europe and Latin America, President Obama believed that the tone of US relations had been changed.  Based on reaction from Europe and the rest of the world, this seems to be true. 

From the European and Latin American Apology Tours to His release of prisoner photographs, the President has shown himself to be weak and unwilling to confront adversaries (except evil Republicans). 

World leftists generally hailed Obama’s Apology Tour as a first step in removing the United States as the world’s worst bully.  World terrorists hailed the Tour as proof that the United States was again an open target.  The President’s rationale seems to be that if we get other nations to like the US, these other nations will be more likely to help the US in the future.   When the President returned from Europe without a commitment of troops for Afghanistan, this should have proven to Him that the strategy failed. 

Through all the apologizing and about-facing, the Obama administration has proven that it is more interested in third world public relations than it is in protecting the United States.    Obama’s embarrassments span the globe.   The following are the top ten recent embarrassments achieved by the Obama foreign relations team:

10.  Closing Guantanamo - Obama announced on day 1 that Guantanamo detention center would be closed.  The world was then asked to take some of the battlefield combatants into their own jails.   Even after Obama’s Apology Tour, no nation stepped up.    Democrats also resisted the effort to close Gitmo and provided the President with a convenient excuse for keeping the center in operation.  By withholding funds required to close the base, the President must keep it open.  Out of a record budget and Stimulus, Democrats couldn’t find the relatively small amount of money required to close the detention center.   Obama at least temporarily, fell back on the Bush administration plan to try those held using Military Tribunals.  It is interesting that Democrats would use ‘budget frugality’ as a reason to avoid keeping a promise to their leftist base.

9.  “Torture” - President Obama embarrassed himself by incorrectly citing Winston Churchill in regard to interrogation tactics.  Churchill’s public face may have said that no torture was used, but the British Isles were on the ropes – protected only by a thin sea channel from the Nazi war machine.  You can bet the Brits used whatever tactic they needed to get information.  Much of this experience in prisoner interrogation was gained through generations of conflict when the UK ruled Ireland.   

8.  Swine Flu – Mexicans are still laughing at the incident in the Basilica in Mexico City where Secretary of State Clinton asked who painted the image of the Virgin Mary.  This incident was followed by the outbreak of Swine Flu which allowed Team Obama to create yet another crisis.  President Obama’s team, ably assisted by His lapdogs at CNN, played up the drama in order to show the administration’s ability to handle a public health crisis.  However, this made the Mexican health authority look bad and in the end only damaged His reputation south of the border.  Obama tried to right the wrong by having a Cinco de Quatro Party at the White House.

7.  Hugo Chavez – What more can be said about Hugo Chavez?  The Venezuelan tub of lard shook hands with the President at the Latin American conference.  When he returned to Caracas, Chavez dished out yet another lengthy anti-American diatribe.  Obama still hasn’t responded.   Obama has yet to, read the book Chavez gave him - Open Veins of Latin America: Five Centuries of the Pillage of a Continent – thinking that it is some kind of cookbook usually exchanged by Latin American guests.

6.  Daniel Ortega – Ortega also delivered a lengthy verbal smack-down of the United States to Obama’s face.  Obama viewed the incident as an exchange of ideas.  Unfortunately, Obama never exchanged an idea of his own.  He didn’t issue any statements because no teleprompter was present.

5.  Sustained Despotism – Allowing relatives greater freedom of travel to Cuba was heralded as a great step forward by the Castro brothers.  The President Himself needs to schedule a trip to Havana to learn first-hand how a despot subjugates his people for such a long period of time.

4. Nuclear Proliferation – Iran  – Hoping that the Mullahs and their lunatic President Ahmadinejad would like the United States enough to give up their nuclear weapons program, President Obama was heartened to learn that the Iranians would be open to negotiations.   As long as the negotiations take longer than it would to complete the Iranian nuclear bomb, the Mullahs are fine with talking. 

3.  Weapons Proliferation - North Korea –When informed that DPRK intended to launch a test missile over Japan, Secretary Clinton called the test ‘provocative.’  Following the launch, Clinton reiterated that the test was ‘provocative.’  North Korea as well as Japan are still trying to figure out just what was provoked.  So far, nothing has happened.  Japan is preparing her own defense.

2.  Pressuring Israel – Mistreating an adversary sometimes works out.  Mistreating one’s most loyal ally is unforgivable.  Apparently informed this week by Rahm Emanuel that Israel must give up her nuclear arsenal in exchange for an Obama promise of security and a two-state solution, the Israelis went quiet.    The Israelis fully understand the value of an Obama security guarantee.    Look for the Israelis to remove the Iranian nuclear threat as soon as is practicable.  The Israelis are preparing their own defense.

1.  Bewilderment in Pakistan – Last year, then Senator Obama was one to insist that Pakistani General Musharaff step down and be replaced by a civilian government.  Unfortunately, that government cut a deal with the Taliban allowing the Islamic militants control over a sizeable chunk of that country.  The Taliban expressed its gratitude by trying to subjugate the rest of northern Pakistan.  Obama is trying to find someone in the Taliban movement to talk to and be nice with so the radicals won’t attack us.  Oh… and to keep them from getting their hands on Pakistan’s nuclear arsenal.

Political Humor - Obamawords

President Obama may be one of the best orators to occupy the White House, but how good is he without the teleprompter?  President Obama loves the machine that moves the words up and down so that He can perform his speech perfectly.   When the words move the wrong way, Obama has a bad day - and so does the teleprompter operator.

All orators have their favorite words and usually, they mean the same thing from day to day.   Obama has a few that his staff caused to travel up and down the teleprompter screen incessantly.  Common words and phrases have become so overused within the space of a few short months that the public is beginning to assign different meanings to them.    For instance, the term ‘offshore’ used to mean a place where companies would register as their place of business in order to avoid excessive taxation.  Now, ‘offshore’ describes the permanent location of those companies and their remaining jobs after they leave the US to avoid excessive taxation.

President Obama likes his words to be as general as possible so that when unintended consequences arise, He can present Himself blameless.    White House staff also wishes to be held blameless, so the President’s speechwriters stick to the tried and true common words, even though the context may have changed. 

The following list is Obama’s top ten overused and newly defined bits of the English language that are uniquely associated with His Presidency.

10.  Create or Save – this phrase was originally rolled out as just ‘create’ when used in reference to saving jobs with multiple trillions of dollars in Stimulus money.   When Obama staff pointed out that this money would not actually create many new jobs, the staff threw in the words ‘or save.’  Since neither the President nor his staff could prove how many jobs would actually be saved, the President was free to make the ridiculous claim that they could count on CNN to pick up as truth.   

9.  Jobs – When the President speaks of ‘creating or saving,’ He is referring of course to ‘jobs’ – primarily his own.  Without the illusion that He has put paychecks in workers bank accounts, the President will be standing in the unemployment line with the rest of us.  As the ability to blame George W. Bush gradually expires – even on MSNBC – the President will have to ensure that a robust Jobs market is created.  Or at least He will have to ensure that a robust unemployment mechanism is in place.

8.  Overseas – Obama refers to things ‘overseas’ as either terrible or brilliant.  When He journeys to visit other peoples and learn of their culture, He sees the brilliance of their decisions and social model.  When someone ships American jobs to that country, He sees someone stealing tax revenue and cheating workers.  The term ‘Overseas’ then can be either a positive or negative.    In this instance having the Chinese own the US debt through purchase of T-Bills is good.  Shipping the jobs to China because of excessive taxation in the US is bad.  Interestingly, the Chinese use their profit from these new jobs to purchase more US T-Bills.

7. Long Term – The phrase ‘long term’ is designed to steer public attention away from the problems the President has created in the present.  Installing ‘long term’ solutions refers to damping down voter expectations for workable solutions now.  By extending his planning for the ‘long term,’ President Obama has set public performance expectations to be evaluated after beginning his second term.  After that, who cares?

6.  Sustainable Growth – Attempting to spur the world economy by exporting American jobs, the Obama administration at some point will have to create decent jobs here in the United States.  ‘Growth’ refers to the ability of people to thank Obama for their job.  Sustainable refers to the President’s ability to defer voter expectations into the future when He decides conditions are ‘sustainable.’  Current expectations call for the sustainable economic growth to begin sometime after 2012 when someone else will occupy the office.

5.  Climate Change – This phrase refers to the presentation of disputable meteorological measurements as proof that the sky is falling.  Climate Change is designed to convert voter fear into Democrat job security.   Using his army of field agents, headed by Tennessee Windbag AlGore, Climate Change will be used as the central reason to allow Americans to freeze in their homes because of escalating fuel costs.

4.  Hope and Change – Mercifully, use of this phrase has subsided.  Once a catchy campaign theme loosely translated to mean Hope that someone else pays my bills with someone else’s Change, the phrase has been pleasantly absent from Obama speeches.  Look for it to make resurgence as the President’s approval ratings invert.

3.  Opportunity – Reliance on the ruling class to determine what opportunities should be available to who is now the primary definition of ‘opportunity.’  Exchanging market forces for utopian market planning is certain to provide more and better jobs – for those engaged in market planning.

2.  Dialogue – Dialogue is simply defined as an exchange of ideas or points. Obama is quite good at the talking part.   In fairness, He listens well, too.  Danny Ortega of Nicaragua delivered a pointless and error-filled anti-American diatribe in Obama’s presence and Obama never moved.  The President then left the venue without responding.  In the Obama world view, the definition of ‘dialogue’ has been modified to letting the rest of the world defame America without response and then demand American taxpayers compensate them for years of oppression. 

1.  Inherited – Clearly the number one overused word in the Obama White House, the definition of ‘inherited’ has morphed into meaning ‘don’t blame me.’  Obama has expanded this even further to mean that because He ‘inherited’ a given situation, He is free to exacerbate the problem until it reaches crisis levels.   Obama staff – after some ribbing from late night television – attempted to remove this word from Obama’s vocabulary, but had no luck.  When Obama get’s off teleprompter, He simply reverts to previous, monotonous ‘uh’s,’ ‘ums,’ and the word ‘inherited.’ 

Political Humor - Why the GOP is Happy Specter is Out
Given the Republican run of bad luck and poor decisions over the past six months, fate finally threw conservatives a break.  After Senator Arlen Specter’s defection to the Democrat party last week, the GOP was left wringing its hands and wondering how it could stop the Obama juggernaut.   Specter then opened his mouth and all was righted.

Stating that the life of former Congressman Jack Kemp might have been saved if Republicans and the federal government had approved more cancer research funding, Specter converted himself from a Republican inconvenience into a Democrat liability.  Despite the billions spent on cancer research and ignoring the remarkable progress made in certain cancer treatments – including the treatments that saved his own life - Specter chose to embarrass himself by blaming others for the death of a conservative leader.    Specter will fit right in with the Democrat party. 

The media doesn’t quite know how to handle their newfound Democrat friend.  “Reporters” at Huffington Post were agog.  Specter made the rounds on Sunday talk shows repeating the same tired line that he was disappointed that the Republican Party didn’t want him.  It is the mark of a leader to understand what your constituents want.  It never occurred to Specter that he might be taking his constituents in a direction they don’t want to go.  Specter will fit right in with the Democrat party.

Claiming that the Republicans had gone too far right since he joined under Reagan’s “big tent,” Specter concluded that he needed to move to the Democrat side reiterating that Republicans didn’t want him as their candidate.  Parties don’t want candidates they either can’t rely upon, or are likely to lose in the next election cycle.  Specter failed the Republican test on both counts.   He will fit right in with the Democrats.

So Republicans are washing their hands of Arlen Specter.    There are other – lesser known – reasons the GOP is happy about the PA Senator’s defection.   Here are the top ten:

10.  Specter was a rotten member of the Senate softball team.  Ann Coulter would attend the annual  game between Republicans and Democrats and yell at him for throwing like a girl.  She yelled at him for other things as well.

9.  Republicans won’t have to choose a member of the Senate to explain ‘teabagging’ to him.  As he is now a Democrat, Harry Reid can handle that duty.  Imagine that conversation.

8.  Specter will probably stop wearing that American flag pin.  Democrats don’t wear those things as they are citizens of the world now.  Although the President as well as a few others occasionally wear a flag pin, it is usually Republicans that consistently have them on.  Democrats don’t like wearing it because it clashes with cuff links.

7.  Ann Coulter – although never shy about lambasting the Pennsylvania Senator, the pretty blonde commentator now has an entire years worth of fresh material with which to skewer him.  Specter’s outrageous misstatements such as the Kemp gaffe, will keep Coulter’s lines lit and his defection will inflame the invective. 

6.   Republicans will get to watch Specter be introduced to Chris Mathew’s leg.  The ultimate test of liberal electability is to send a chill up the MSNBC commentator’s leg.  How the network chooses to test this is something most voters don’t want to know.

5.  Specter will have to caucus with Democrats.  Harry Reid and the rest of the leftist cabal now have to listen to the 20 year old story explaining why Specter went against Robert Bork. 
 
4.  One less person to get in the way of blocking a Supreme Court nomination.  The somewhat hazy committee rules might permit Republicans to block a nominee from getting out of the Senate Judicial Committee for a floor vote.  The mini-filibuster would be made possible should not a single Republican support the President’s nominee.  Specters’ awesome timing took him out of that role immediately prior to Justice Souter’s retirement announcement.  Specter would have been more valuable here as a Republican.   (Of course the lefties will just change the rules if they need to, but this will make it inconvenient for them.)

3.  Provides reason to extend Minnesota Senate Race – With nothing left to lose, Republicans may now continue to fight the court-determined election outcome in the state of Minnesota.  The thought of Senator Stuart Smalley and Senator Specter together at the same podium should give any court reason to remove several thousand votes from Franken - or at lest to keep litigating the election until 2014.

2.  Will make the Pennsylvania vote worth watching next year.  Specter running as a Democrat against an enraged conservative base will be compounded by the inevitable inflation sure to accompany Obama’s Stimulus package.  Since Specter got himself invited to the Super Bowl party at the White House and then decided to support the President’s bill, voters will have someone local to blame for the inflation tax they will be paying on everything. 

1.  Specter will raise tons of money – for Republicans.  Already angry, the conservative base has a clear shot at Specter now and won’t have trouble raising money to defeat him.