First Conservative

Editor's Note:
The best assistant in Political Humor is the evening newscast. More material is available by watching those in the media try to 'fairly' portray those in government trying to keep their jobs. The errors committed by our governmental servants could fill a book, or... at least a few Top Ten Lists along the way. So visit our Blog for more wit, wisdom and your chance to join the fun!

12 Step Recovery Plan for Obama Supporters

Now that President Obama’s first 100 days are mercifully behind us, American voters are beginning to look carefully at the direction the country is headed. Accordingly, Obama’s poll numbers are returning to earth. It is difficult to keep approval ratings up while one’s policy ratings are in the tank.

President Obama’s personal charisma buoyed his approval ratings primarily because of his confident and engaging style. Unfortunately for him, policies such as Cap and Trade, Card Check, takeover of banking and auto manufacturing to name a few, are viewed favorably by fewer than half of the voting population. Sooner or later, Obama’s approval ratings will begin to resemble those of the policies he advocates.

Although still early in His term, voters are beginning having second thoughts. Like the High School boyfriend who was smooth, charming and said all the right things at the proper time, affection for said boyfriend plummeted when it was revealed that he smoked, tried to enter buildings through windows or exhibited beliefs that don’t work well in the relationship. Good looks and smooth mannerisms got Him to the dance but they didn’t make Him Homecoming King.

For the individual voter, understanding Obama policies depends on where they stand. If they are standing in the unemployment line, their impatience with the President’s economic plan will not be soothed by yet another press conference. The longer President Obama extends the recession with his plans for excessive spending, the more fragile voter’s patience becomes.

Voter fragility will be pushed to the limit over the next several weeks as the economy continues to flounder. Obama will no longer be able to coerce media into providing free airtime for another Press/Pep Rally and He will be less able to blame current conditions on the former administration. Continued defections by once supportive business leaders will also draw approval ratings lower. And the inevitable inflation and discontent that will coincide with the kick-off of Stimulus spending will not be mitigated by speeches.

Speeches were the keystone of Obama’s Presidential run last year. They caused crowds to swoon with adolescent admiration. Now that some voters are contemplating breaking up with the Leader, conservatives must be prepared to assist. The 12 Step Plan for Obama Recovery is designed to assist conservatives in reaching out to disaffected liberals who have had their hearts broken by yet another smooth talking, good looking guy.

The following steps are to be enacted by the recovering Obama supporter with the assistance of a compassionate conservative:

1. Establish honesty in admitting failure – this is very difficult thing for a liberal. Ones that invested so much time, effort and money in the Obama campaign will find it difficult to admit that their dedication was misguided. Conservatives must allow the recovering Obamaniac to vent about why they felt their original love for Him didn’t turn out to be the flowering garden of love and fairness they envisioned. Like all jilted former admirers, recovering supporters will feel foolish, so it is important to not bring further embarrassment upon them. Just admitting the failure is progress enough for step one.

2. Show faith in a higher power – Recovering Obama supporters have an aversion to discussing faith issues, so this is another difficult step. Avoid telling the former Obama worshiper the importance of believing in God, but focus instead on the fact that Obama turned out not to be God. Recovering from liberalism frequently requires admission that there might actually be a kind and loving God and this by itself is a huge leap. Once again “baby steps” are the objective. Just getting the recovering Obama supporter to admit that Obama is not God might be all the progress one can make.

3. Assist in surrender of control – Obama supporters at one time believed that government control of industry and finance would create a more fair and just society. Instead, it created unemployment and soon-to-come inflation. Still, a recovering Obamniac does not at his core, believe in freedom. Freedom of action, speech and especially of others to own firearms is terrifying to a liberal. Take the recovering Obama supporter to coffee and explain that freedom is the right to choose between a non-fat vanilla latte and a mocha cappuccino. The choice is not threatening. It also isn’t threatening that the guy in front of you ordered a drink he despises. The assisting conservative can then carry the conversation on to the issue of free markets. Without surrendering to a free market, there can be no prosperity – or at least the ability to choose what one orders at Starbucks.

4. Help in taking a personal moral inventory – Liberals absolutely hate this. They would much rather take someone else’s moral inventory and point out the errors of someone else’s ways. Pointing out others’ faults is a trait Democrats cultivate in their followers. Looking for failures within themselves is foreign and threatening. The conservative must be patient and stick to the evidence in discussing topics. A good start is to initiate a conversation regarding why the inevitable inflation next year will be Obama’s cruel tax on the middle class. Obama supporters will connect with the word ‘cruel’ as they are concerned about the future of America’s middle class. When evidence mounts that the conservative position has proven correct, the Obama-type may become frustrated and emotional. Conservatives must continue to bring up factual evidence. Unless the Obamican is brain-dead, this tactic will eventually pay off.

5. Encourage admission that the previously held belief was incorrect – Recovering Obama supporters wrestle mightily with this step. Admission that any previously held belief was incorrect is taken in most liberal minds as a personal defeat. Politics with Democrats is personal. Admission of poor judgment is not something they would choose to make public. Completion of this step might involve admitting to the conservative that he/she ‘may’ have been wrong. A liberal using the word ‘may’ in this context must be read as a definite admission of the wrong. Democrats never admit an error.

6. Help recovering Obama supporter accept defects in judgment – This is where it really gets difficult. Admitting a single error is difficult enough. Admission to a defective judgmental process is entirely different. Field evidence must be used as it was in Step 3, only this time; it is a much more lengthy discussion. A recommended scheme is to discuss the Carter years and why they led to double digit unemployment, interest rates and inflation. Follow this with a discussion on how Reagan was the President to defeat LBJ’s inflationary cycle and restore economic growth, as well as laying the groundwork for defeating the Soviet Union. This is a detailed discussion, so it will be difficult to hold the liberal’s attention for that long.

7. Help restore humility – During the campaign, Obama supporters were anything but humble in their wild support for a community organizer. Looking back, they completely embarrassed themselves. The assisting conservative should point out that it was easy to follow along with such a dynamic speaker and campaigner, but the real measure of maturity is to learn from the experience. Liberals refer to every mistake as a ‘learning experience.’

8. Establish a willingness to make amends – Gaining an Obama supporter’s willingness to vote for someone other than a Democrat is challenging. Simply point out that since Obama is in office damaging the country for perhaps an entire generation, swift and significant counteraction will be necessary to prevent prolonged economic disaster. After all, a liberal doesn’t want to be blamed for anything, especially while waiting to cash the unemployment check.

9. Assist the Obamican in giving and finding forgiveness – Liberals actually like forgiving others. They aren’t quite so fond of asking forgiveness for themselves. Conservatives must coax this out into the open by making the sting of Obamanomics personal. If the Obama supporter is currently unemployed, this should be easy.

10. Help recovering supporter maintain his progress – Recovering Obama supporters will burn up an incredible amount of personal energy trying to understand why His policies failed. Usually, Democrats fall back on the tried and true method of blaming others. However, with no Republican presence in Congress, Democrats have full responsibility for the condition of the country and won’t be able to logically blame someone else. Encouraging the former Obama worshiper to continue exploring free markets and conservative thought is a continuous effort.

11. Help develop an action plan – Democrats love action plans. They love to make them and assign the difficult actions (like paying taxes) to others. That way they can blame others when the effort produces unintended consequences. Conservatives can get past this by involving the former Obamaniac in regular discussions of inflation, money supply theory and other detailed conservative principles. Recovering Obama supporters will need this level of detail to defend themselves when they go to their weekly book club meeting.

12. Encourage recovering lefty to follow through on action plan – The Obama supporter that realizes he has been hoodwinked into voting for a snake oil salesman will still have to confront those that still consume the Obama Kool-Aid. Making her/his newfound understanding of conservative principles public will be terrifying at first. Conservatives can help by asking probing questions in public. Questions such as: ‘why will there be rapid inflation in 2010?’ will allow the recovering Obamniac to look knowledgeable among his peers. It may also generate an entirely new crop of liberals who wish to throw off the bounds of Obama worship. The conservative assistant may quickly find many in need of his services.

The Obama Apology Tour - Latin America Version

Article reprinted from the April 17 First Conservative Blog. For more wit and wisdom on the conservative world, please visit our blog page.

Mexico was far warmer than Europe. Unfortunately, the Mexicans have real needs and real expectations. The Obama Apology Tour – Latin America version - was received, but quickly buried in the deep Mexican file of grievances. Quick consensus was then reached between parties that the problems faced by Mexico were the fault of the United States. Consensus in and of itself is a major objective of the Obama Presidency, so He quickly characterized the meetings in Mexico City as successful. At least the Leader didn’t go to the Basilica and ask who painted the famous image of Mary. He delegated that dishonor to his Secretary of State who carried out the assignment some weeks ago.

Mexico also used the anniversary of the Bay of Pigs invasion (or attempted invasion) to offer itself as a ‘go between’ in establishing better relations between Cuba and the US. Obama, after consulting with his aides to learn what the Bay of Pigs incident was, responded that he would like to open doors to the Communist island to better understand how a dictator can oppress his citizens for such a long period of time.

Latin American animosity to the United States runs deep – sometimes referring to America as the cause of all evil in the world. Anti American cheerleader Hugo Chavez managed to cram his oversized form into a fancy suit and attended the Latin American Summit on the Caribbean island of Trinidad and Tobago, along with US President Obama. (The next time Chavez gets in the mood to shoot somebody, he should start with his tailor.) No formal meetings were scheduled, but outside the Men’s Room, Chavez did ask how Obama came out on his March Madness pool. He also demanded one trillion US dollars to make up for generations of American oppression.

Obama learned a lot in his meetings with Latin America’s leaders. Primarily, He learned that a lot of apologizing is going to be needed for Latin America to like the US. Accordingly the crack Obama staff began preparing a top ten list of things to apologize for and came up with the following items:

10. Bay of Pigs – JFK’s failed invasion of the island to overthrow Fidel Castro is still hailed as a major victory over US imperialism. Had Kennedy used real troops, the outcome would have been different, but Latin America views this bit of history as an example of what happens when America wants a foreign head-of-state gone – they send in a bunch of poorly trained troops with no plan and no air cover.

9. Butchering the Banana Boat Song (come Mr. Tallyman….) – The Banana Boat song is used at weddings or other alcohol related events. Latin’s view this as a symbol of oppression of dock workers and fruit pickers. It is usually sung by drunken patrons and is therefore insulting to proud Latin American culture.

8. Hurricanes - George W. Bush caused all the hurricanes in the Caribbean each year - that is just common knowledge. The US should apologize and provide reimbursement for all damage.

7. Never remembering that Brazilians speak Portuguese - Most Americans forget that Spanish is not necessarily the dominant language of South America. The national language of Brazil is Portuguese, which US President Obama refers to as the Brazilian language.

6. Making fun of the name Chile – The childish reference to the long and narrow nation on the South American Pacific coast as a dinner entrée has long riled Chileans.

5. Jonestown – The 1978 mass suicide of several hundred religious fanatics in Guyana is viewed as a major ecological disaster. The Reverend James Jones swindled the Guyanese government into allowing nearly a thousand Americans to settle in the jungle to farm and live their weird communal life. When these poor souls all committed suicide together, the ecological damage was never reimbursed.

4. Backing the British in the Falklands War (Obama staff had to look this one up, too) – The last great Argentine despot, General Leopoldo Galtieri attempted a forceful takeover of the small Falkland Islands group in the South Atlantic in 1982. Unfortunately for him, the British claimed these islands too and had several thousand valuable sheep living on them. The Brits assembled a naval task force, sailed to the other hemisphere, sunk the Argentine’s best warship with two shots and retook the islands in 74 days. All this was done with American diplomatic approval. The Argentine military defeat to a small island nation half a world away was humiliating. And with all defeats, America was to blame.

3. Turning Columbia into a successful democracy that is willing to fight drug trafficking – This unforgivable American action runs counter to the desired role Latin America wishes the United States to play – purchaser of oil at exorbitant prices from South American despots.

2. Not knowing the difference between Uruguay and Paraguay – US schoolchildren are never taught that two smaller nations of South America even exist. These two nations perhaps are best known for their soccer prowess.

1. Educating American youth that the Panama Canal was a triumph of American engineering and drive - Americans are not taught that the Canal was a the creation of American imperialism. They are also not taught about the massive ecological disaster caused by draining thousands of acres of disease ridden swamps. Theodore Roosevelt is to be reviled for pioneering exploitation of Latin America.

Useful Stuff

• Bottom Ten of College Football
• Fox News
• Drudge Report
• The Web Info Center

Cool Blogs

• Conservative Compendium
• Daily Uprising
• Heritage Blog
• SEO Consultants Denver